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Emotional support for dh

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
So 6 yrs ago I suffered a miscarriage with an ex. it was hard I spent 7 months crying over it,I chopped off all my hair,and I went thru a major depression spell. it was awful.

Well last fall dh&I find out we are expecting baby #3. Well I go to a couple appointments things seem off and I feel like I've went back 6 years. Well at 10 weeks I went in and found out the baby stopped growing. I cried for my loss and for the fact that I wanted to be so wrong on what I had figured.

Now DH has taken it harder as hes never experienced this. We've been together 4 years and has never been one to pull out or use condoms. Well since the miscarriage he's pulled out 99% of the time. He's scared to lose another baby so is scared t try again where as I am ready to try again.

How do I be emotionally supportive to him? bc honestly rn I feel like a cold hearted bitch. Sorry it's so long.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2017 at 11:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:01 AM

Does he understand that early miscarriages are super common and not really indicative of the viability of future pregnancies?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:04 AM
No two people handle grief the same way!


Tell him to write a letter, light a candle and say a prayer.


I'd be frusterated too!

Hang in there!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:07 AM
I've tried to explain that bc I had.my miscarriage then got pregnant with my son 9 months after that and got pregnant with my daughter when ds was a little over 2.

I've even offered to quit drinking (I drink a lot) and take prenatals to make a pregnancy even more viable.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Does he understand that early miscarriages are super common and not really indicative of the viability of future pregnancies?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:07 AM
I know that which is why rn I feel like the bad guy bc he's grieving and im not.

Quoting Anonymous 3: No two people handle grief the same way!


Tell him to write a letter, light a candle and say a prayer.


I'd be frusterated too!

Hang in there!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:08 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:08 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:08 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:08 AM
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Ladyteancum
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:10 AM
I have been where your husband is at. I was so scared to even have sex. I didn't know if I could handle another loss. It ate at me. I was too afraid to try for another baby. Dh wanted another one so bad. I started to almost hate him for not understanding. Once he backed off and let me heal and deal with everything, things got better. Our little man is snuggled up next to me as I type. Give him time to get his head back on right. It's so hard and everyone handles this differently. Good luck.
CaliBear8405
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2017 at 12:10 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Just remember where you were the 1st time. You said it took you 7 months. I'm not saying it'll take him that long but, this is all extremely new and painful to him. As it is for you too. ((Hugs))
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