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Anyone have an experience with CPS? This isn't about my minions but my nephew. LONG EDIT

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2017 at 8:50 AM
  • 57 Replies

I have received good advice here before and I need some now.  My nephew is having some serious issues that my BIL just won't deal with.

My Nephew, J ( he's 11), is being bullied at school for issues that my BIL could control and handle but doesn't.  He doesn't make my J brush his teeth or even shower much. ( I have two nephews and a niece.  My older nephew niece have a different mom than my younger nephew and she isn't in the picture. My BIL is married to my youngest nephew's mom and my SIL is amazing to the older two, just adores them but my BIL is controlling)  Kids bully J because he smells bad, his clothes are dirty, he has problems with his speech and he's a bit annoying. He's only annoying because he wants attention so bad, my BIL is always busy playing video games or running around on his wife.

I adore my nephew even though he's annoying.  He is a sad kid, looking for attention and he breaks my heart.  He and my BIL came over yesterday for my BIL to help my husband with something with the boat.  My nephew sat beside me and told me that he was suspended from school.  Some kids have been picking on him and he lost it. He said he was going to blow up the school and they told on him.  Him and I had a long talk about it and I told him he was lucky he was only suspensed 3 days.  

After they left, my husband told me that my BIL told him that last weekend they went to my SIL's dad's farm and that my nephew snapped the neck of 3 chickens.  At first, he kind of laughed it off but I guess when he saw my husband's face, he stopped.  He said he doesn't know what to do.  My husband told him that he needs to get my nephew help, professional help, now.  I guess my BIL got pissed and that was why they needed up leaving when they did.

My BIL is the type that if you try and give him advice, he gets so pissed and thinks you are bashing him so we learned to not say anything.  When J was 5, someone called CPS on my BIL 3 times in 6 months.  He had to take parenting classes and I think that was it.  Last night, we talked for a long time about if we should step in and call CPS.

So my question is, does anyone know would CPS step in and force BIL to get J help?  Is there anything we do? We know we can't try and talk to BIL because he will flip out and then we won't see his kids for months on end. He uses them as pawns, gonig so far as moving from place to place so no one even knows where he lives. His kids have never stayed in a place for longer than 1 year.  There is nothing stable for them and my SIL....is weak so she is no help.

Thanks for the advice

Edit: My husband called his brother this morning and asked him to come over.  He is going to talk to him and ask BIL what his plan is for getting J help and tell him that we want to help him with this

by on Mar. 18, 2017 at 8:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 8:55 AM
Yes, call.
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 8:56 AM


Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes, call.

They will make him get my nephew to a doctor or something? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 8:58 AM
They'll develop a plan for BIL to comply with. They'll need to see medical records and vaccine records and he'll have to get him medical treatment if he hadn't.
If it's a money thing, they can help with resources such as state provided insurance and food stamps.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes, call.

They will make him get my nephew to a doctor or something? 

ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:00 AM

It's a lazy thing.  I know that right now, he won't take J to the doctor simply because my husband told him he needed too.  He's very immature and won't do things suggested to him because he thinks he's showing you that you can't tell him what to do.

Man...I guess we need to do some work and figuring out where he lives so we can give CPS an address

Quoting Anonymous 1: They'll develop a plan for BIL to comply with. They'll need to see medical records and vaccine records and he'll have to get him medical treatment if he hadn't. If it's a money thing, they can help with resources such as state provided insurance and food stamps.
Quoting ReedusStalker:


Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes, call.

They will make him get my nephew to a doctor or something? 


ShaMac
by Ruby Member on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:00 AM
Bump... I don't know what they would do but it's better to do something than simply wait for the tragedy.
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:01 AM

I just can't even believe this.  We can totally see J growing up and being in and out of jail, my niece being a teen mom and my youngest nephew following in his brother's steps.  The whole thing is just sad

Quoting ShaMac: Bump... I don't know what they would do but it's better to do something than simply wait for the tragedy.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:01 AM
Ask SIL for an address so you can send "gifts" for the kids? Who knows what dangerous shithole they could be living in.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

It's a lazy thing.  I know that right now, he won't take J to the doctor simply because my husband told him he needed too.  He's very immature and won't do things suggested to him because he thinks he's showing you that you can't tell him what to do.

Man...I guess we need to do some work and figuring out where he lives so we can give CPS an address

Quoting Anonymous 1: They'll develop a plan for BIL to comply with. They'll need to see medical records and vaccine records and he'll have to get him medical treatment if he hadn't.
If it's a money thing, they can help with resources such as state provided insurance and food stamps.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes, call.

They will make him get my nephew to a doctor or something? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:03 AM
You can also call his school with your concerns. You can ask them to call and they'll provide an address to cps. Do you think BIL is physically abusing him and hiding it is why he hasn't been to a doctor?

Doesn't the school need annual physical documentation each school year?
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:04 AM

I don't have her number.  My BIL got angry and destroyed it after she told me that he gave her an STD and he hasn't replaced it.  They disappeared from us for a year. We think my FIL knows where he lives and my husband borrowed a space heater from my BIL.  He's going to ask FIL for the address, saying he wants to return the space heater but we need to be careful because we don't want anyone to know we called CPS. It will start a huge family problem 

Quoting Anonymous 1: Ask SIL for an address so you can send "gifts" for the kids? Who knows what dangerous shithole they could be living in.
Quoting ReedusStalker:

It's a lazy thing.  I know that right now, he won't take J to the doctor simply because my husband told him he needed too.  He's very immature and won't do things suggested to him because he thinks he's showing you that you can't tell him what to do.

Man...I guess we need to do some work and figuring out where he lives so we can give CPS an address

Quoting Anonymous 1: They'll develop a plan for BIL to comply with. They'll need to see medical records and vaccine records and he'll have to get him medical treatment if he hadn't. If it's a money thing, they can help with resources such as state provided insurance and food stamps.
Quoting ReedusStalker:


Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes, call.

They will make him get my nephew to a doctor or something? 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2017 at 9:04 AM
What about talking to sil? I wouldn't get cps involved in less you absolutely had too
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