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Does anyone else find it weird...

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:23 AM
  • 24 Replies
So I started dating this guy a year ago. We moved in together about 6 months ago. He has a daughter and so do I. My ex husband and I have joint custody of our daughter so she is with her father half of the time. He gets visitation with his daughter every other weekend. His daughter and I get along really well. His daughter and my daughter get along really well. Over the last 6 months whenhe has had her she has slept over twice. It's gone well. She gets really excited to stay here. The girls have a blast together. No, I do not try to parent his child. But I do have fun with them and do fun things. Same things I would do with my daughter on the weekends. We don't do it often because I usually work weekends. I am a nurse and he has his daughter the weekends I work. Now he lives with us, we have talked about marriage, picked out a ring. However on those weekends he goes and stays with his parents with his daughter. He says his is going to transition her to move here, but he hasn't really made moves to do so. He says it's because his parents like to see her and I work all weekend anyway. But I'm home at night. Now I do in fact know he is there and he DEVOTES 100% of his time on his weekends with his daughter. I knew that when we started dating. No babysitters or anything. Our first few dates were to Chuck E. Cheese with the kids because of work schedules. I respect that. But if he is talking about marriage should I be concerned he is going back home to his parents every other weekend or am I just being selfish since I'm at work. I feel like I should come home to my family when I get off, just as he should.
by on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JalynSpoon
by CajunTarHeel on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:26 AM

I think yes, he should be back home with his kid at night so you guys can hang out. During the day, he can go visit his parents & hang out.

But then again, does he stay there? You know for a fact he is staying with his parents? Do they live nearby?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:26 AM
Run
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:27 AM
You should tell him that you want to come home to him.
Famousglm714
by Gina on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:29 AM
1 mom liked this

That would be a big concern for me too. I'm sorry but but I want to go out with DH sometimes, no kids. You're not being selfish.

SKM1119
by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:29 AM
Yes I know he is staying there. I know he is with his daughter. He will post pics all night and send snaps with her. I'm not worried about that. He fought to get visitation because mom wanted to do it all alone. So when he has his time he takes it. He is a great dad. But I really don't understand. He makes me feel selfish like I'm trying to take time from his parents. I've been married-10 years. He hasn't. I'm not sure if he knows what it takes.

Quoting JalynSpoon:

I think yes, he should be back home with his kid at night so you guys can hang out. During the day, he can go visit his parents & hang out.

But then again, does he stay there? You know for a fact he is staying with his parents? Do they live nearby?

JalynSpoon
by CajunTarHeel on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:31 AM

If he will continue to do that once you are married, then I'd think twice..

You only been together a year & moved in only after dating 6 months. That is NOT long enough to truly know someone. You are still dating the guy he wants to show you.

Quoting SKM1119: Yes I know he is staying there. I know he is with his daughter. He will post pics all night and send snaps with her. I'm not worried about that. He fought to get visitation because mom wanted to do it all alone. So when he has his time he takes it. He is a great dad. But I really don't understand. He makes me feel selfish like I'm trying to take time from his parents. I've been married-10 years. He hasn't. I'm not sure if he knows what it takes.
Quoting JalynSpoon:

I think yes, he should be back home with his kid at night so you guys can hang out. During the day, he can go visit his parents & hang out.

But then again, does he stay there? You know for a fact he is staying with his parents? Do they live nearby?


SKM1119
by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:33 AM
I do get to go out with him alone now. During the school year he gets her eow. He will not get a babysitter. I respect that. Problem is her works 7 on 7 off night shift. So yea right now weekends are pretty much a no go. But we do get weeknights. And he is looking for a day position. I work day shift. We both work at the same hospital. Summertime is coming and that's where my real concern is coming. Are you gonna run for 7 days at a time? Because he gets her for his whole 7 days off.

Quoting Famousglm714:

That would be a big concern for me too. I'm sorry but but I want to go out with DH sometimes, no kids. You're not being selfish.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:33 AM

It may be a rule his ex has set in place. So the daughter isn't around too many women too often in case it doesn't work out. I would have a talk with him on why he does it and if it will continue if and when you two get married.

awelling
by Ruby Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:34 AM
I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone like that. If he wants to be married, he needs to learn how to be an actual family.
SKM1119
by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:35 AM
She is 6. I'm the first woman she has met.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

It may be a rule his ex has set in place. So the daughter isn't around too many women too often in case it doesn't work out. I would have a talk with him on why he does it and if it will continue if and when you two get married.

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