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boys being stupid. I worry about ds

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 47 Replies
Tell me the worst thing your son has done, and that everything turned out ok.

I'm worried about my 11 yo ds. He's probably a 'normal' preteen, coming from a single mom's house, mixed in with having to deal with emotions of an absent dad in prison.

He got in a 'fight' at school then the school official was able to pull more information from him and it seems like he's in a stupid wanna be gang. There's 5 of them, all in the same grade. He admitted certain things to the official and backtracked the things with me.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:15 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:17 PM
Send him to an outward bound therapy camp this summer. Ask the school about scholarships.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:18 PM
My oldest is only 10. Nothing more than stupid annoyances.

Is he involved in sports or any other activities?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:20 PM
That's not normal behavior.
Lindalou907
by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:21 PM

Sorry, I'm no help. You have to take this very seriously. My step-grandson is in Juvenile bootcamp for a year, then parole for the next 5. I could see the train wreck coming, but couldn't stop it. 

constantg
by Platinum Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:22 PM

Wilderness or military camp. A gang is more than "normal" pre-teen crap. It's worrying and indicitive of serious problems later on. 

f.i.s.h
by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:23 PM
Gang behavior is not normal, especially not at that age. Sorry mama.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:26 PM
Not anymore. He was in karate for 3 years, after that he did like a fitness camp thing and it's been 3 months since. He wanted to do basketball but decided against it. I called around at gyms so we both could join but he has to be 13 at least. I picked up the rec center program book but he isn't into any of that, so I'm not sure what to do.

I don't want to "ground" him but I don't want him hanging out with those kids after school. One of them- they hang out with each other on a semi regular basis and the boy seemed like a nice kid (though my son seems nice too)... ds says he's different from in school vs out of school, more mean in school but nice when school is out, but I don't really wanna support that friendship. I can't really ground him for the next 7 years though either lol

Quoting Anonymous 3: My oldest is only 10. Nothing more than stupid annoyances.

Is he involved in sports or any other activities?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:29 PM

I have a 12 yr old and,  He does stupid boy stuff on his own youtube channel. There was a time when he was 10 that he was quite angry, dug up holes in the back yard, I got him into therapy and became someone he could confide in. We got to the bottom of things, he started up a youtube channel to share his ideas and antics with the world. That really helped him blossom into his own person rather than rely on peers to pressure him into doing things that are just wrong.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2017 at 6:29 PM
Ds says it's a club. But they have signs (if someone betrayed the group, and if someone didn't betray the group), and they do this thing that's kinda like an initiation (you gotta do it to join but then you gotta keep doing it). To me, that's all gang related. To ds, that's just a club.

I'll check into those camps. I was considering sending him to camp this summer, depending on what he wanted to try, but I think if I can find and afford something like this, that's where he'll go.

I should add that he is in therapy.

Quoting constantg:

Wilderness or military camp. A gang is more than "normal" pre-teen crap. It's worrying and indicitive of serious problems later on. 

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