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I just found out that SS is adopted

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 372 Replies
1 mom liked this

And I am shocked. He doesnt know. BM even has pictures of her being "pregnant" with him. Everything is a lie. 

I asked DH why he hasnt told SS. He said that they adopted through BMs family and that the person who put him up for adoption wanted it to be a secret. 

SS is 20 and I think he has every right to know he was adopted.  I was adopted myself and I didnt find out until I was nearly 40 and it really fucked me up. The truth always comes out in one way or another and the longer that it takes the worse it is. 

I told DH he needs to tell SS. It is SS' right to know. BM is against it still, she says it is 100% impossible for him to find out which clearly isnt true because I found out. SS isnt an idiot and he will also.  DH and BM need to sit him down and say that they didnt tell him to respect the wishes of his birth mother but that he is an adult now and has the right to know. If they dont than I will. 

DH said it will be the end of our marriage if I tell SS but honestly I am okay with that. I think it is more important for SS to know the truth than for me to continue living in a marriage full of lies. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
caustinb
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:35 AM
13 moms liked this
Stay the hell out of it.
Freiheit
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:36 AM
What a mess. I'd keep my mouth shut.
And your husband threatening divorce if you tell... what's up with that?
luckysevenwow
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:36 AM
5 moms liked this
I agree with you, but it is not your place to say anything.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Mind your own business.
LilysMama719
by Emmy on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:37 AM
5 moms liked this
You need to stay out of it. It's none of your business. For the record, I agree with you that they should have told him, but it isn't your choice to make.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:38 AM

I agree that it isnt my place, DH and BM should tell him. However above all else he has the right to know. 

Quoting luckysevenwow: I agree with you, but it is not your place to say anything.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:38 AM
6 moms liked this

It became my business when I found out he was adopted. 

Everyone has the right to know where they came from. 

Quoting LilysMama719: You need to stay out of it. It's none of your business. For the record, I agree with you that they should have told him, but it isn't your choice to make.


Sarafinn2012
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this
How did you find out?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this
How did you find out?
ShaMac
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this
That shouldn't be your decision. I think it is weird they didn't tell him but it isn't your choice to make.
As for the "longer you wait" he is 20. However long the cut off is for making it hard he hit it years ago.
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