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Thoughts on Open Adoption?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
I'm just curious about different people's opinions on it.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Raeann11
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:08 AM

I have seen it work and not work. It's great when it works and sad when it doesn't. Sadly there is no way to know till it happens.

OliRye1234
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:09 AM
We offered BD an open adoption when his rights were terminated and DH adopted DS6. There's pros and cons with it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:09 AM
If I were to ever adopt, I'd only agree or look for birth moms wanting a closed adoption.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:10 AM

I think that it works great for some families and not for others.

We attempted it with our adopted child and it just didn't work.  We had to cut ties with the BM.  If our child wants to go looking for her when she is older we will help her, but in the meantime it is healthier for our DD to not have anything to do with BM.

nmkj
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:11 AM
I don't agree with it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:11 AM

I was all for open adoption until we adopted and had to close it. The birth mother was crazy and it was a bad situation. The next time around we went with a closed adoption. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:11 AM
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How open?  Pictures and updates a couple of times a year, yes!  BM coming to see the child weekly, not so much!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:16 AM
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I had a baby when I was a teen and gave her up for adoption. It was an open adoption. For the first few years (at my parents insistence) we saw each other all the time - holidays, long weekends, etc. Then I moved for college. I figured it was easier if she didn't see me  and the visit were really hard. But the older I got, when I talked to her mom about it, they really wanted me around, so I have made more of an effort especially since I have my own kids. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:16 AM
5 moms liked this

I don't believe in open adoptions. A child needs a steady home without interference from outside parties (like bio parents). A child can search for their bios later on but let their childhood be drama free. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 11:21 AM
I agree that there are pros and cons but I am generally for it. I know that there are risks you take with either open or closed. Open you take the risk of the child being hurt when either the birth family suddenly cuts ties or the adoptive family does that. Or if the birth family isn't healthy for the child's sake. Closed you run the risk of the child not knowing anything about their birth family, and I feel like that can make abandonment issues worse. When I got pregnant with my daughter at 20 years old I considered adoption but decided against it and I'm glad I did. But when I was considering it I wanted an open adoption, with visits once or twice a year after the first year, as I felt like it would have been too difficult for me to see her so soon after I placed her.
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