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I grew up with a compulsive hoarder, AMA

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

My grandfather had a stroke and my grandmother had health issues when I was 6 years old, so they moved in with us so my mother could care for them.  My grandmother was a hoarder and preceded to fill our home as full as hers.  Ask away. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:31 PM
Did it start slowly at first, or was it a suddenly noticeable thing? I'm starting to think my own mother has hoarding tendencies, I couldn't see it until years after moving out and returning home… It's really sad
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:40 PM

My grandparents house was pretty bad (there was no trash, mold, etc) but there were piles and piles of stuff.  After they moved in it started slowly with just a pile or two here and there but overtime whole rooms became impassable and others had only narrow walkways.  Eventually it got to the point where grandma wouldn't let us get rid of (trash, donate, etc) anything but food waste. 

Quoting Anonymous 2: Did it start slowly at first, or was it a suddenly noticeable thing? I'm starting to think my own mother has hoarding tendencies, I couldn't see it until years after moving out and returning home… It's really sad


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:42 PM
I'm so sorry. My grandpa is one and we just saw inside his house for the first time in 20 years. It's so bad. My mom called Hoarders and talked to them for 20 minutes. We're not sure what the next steps are.

Has it been cleaned up yet?
almburr
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:45 PM
I grew up with a mom that way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:45 PM
Is it hard to bring up the need to clean? I can't discuss the state of the house with her, she get so defensive and stops listening. There are piles of things around as well, even an entire room that just has curtains surrounding the entryways now to block the mess. My old room is now full of things all the way up to the ceiling, I can't even retrieve any childhood memorabilia or set foot inside. It's so sad. It's really hard to want to help but not hurt feelings.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

My grandparents house was pretty bad (there was no trash, mold, etc) but there were piles and piles of stuff.  After they moved in it started slowly with just a pile or two here and there but overtime whole rooms became impassable and others had only narrow walkways.  Eventually it got to the point where grandma wouldn't let us get rid of (trash, donate, etc) anything but food waste. 

Quoting Anonymous 2: Did it start slowly at first, or was it a suddenly noticeable thing? I'm starting to think my own mother has hoarding tendencies, I couldn't see it until years after moving out and returning home… It's really sad

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:45 PM

Both my grandparents have passed.  My grandfather died to complications of his second stroke in 2005 and my grandmother died of advanced heart disease in 2012.  It took nearly 2 years to fully rehabilitate my childhood home and there are still totes of stuff in the garage to be gone through to be trashed or donated to the appropriate place. 

Quoting Anonymous 3: I'm so sorry. My grandpa is one and we just saw inside his house for the first time in 20 years. It's so bad. My mom called Hoarders and talked to them for 20 minutes. We're not sure what the next steps are. Has it been cleaned up yet?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:46 PM

It's very difficult and there is a lot of shame in talking about it. 

Quoting almburr: I grew up with a mom that way.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:47 PM

Our clean up did not begin until my grandmother passed in 2012.  The house is fully clean up as I told a pp, there are still totes to be sorted into trash or donated. 

Quoting Anonymous 2: Is it hard to bring up the need to clean? I can't discuss the state of the house with her, she get so defensive and stops listening. There are piles of things around as well, even an entire room that just has curtains surrounding the entryways now to block the mess. My old room is now full of things all the way up to the ceiling, I can't even retrieve any childhood memorabilia or set foot inside. It's so sad. It's really hard to want to help but not hurt feelings.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

My grandparents house was pretty bad (there was no trash, mold, etc) but there were piles and piles of stuff.  After they moved in it started slowly with just a pile or two here and there but overtime whole rooms became impassable and others had only narrow walkways.  Eventually it got to the point where grandma wouldn't let us get rid of (trash, donate, etc) anything but food waste. 

Quoting Anonymous 2: Did it start slowly at first, or was it a suddenly noticeable thing? I'm starting to think my own mother has hoarding tendencies, I couldn't see it until years after moving out and returning home… It's really sad



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:50 PM
I grew up in that too. I'm not a hoarder but I honetly feel I don't know HOW to keep a neat or clean home. It baffles me that people don't have papers and toys and clothes everywhere like I do. I never let anyone in my home.
almburr
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:50 PM
House was always clean, no dirty dishes or trash piled up. She just bought multiples of everything on clearance. Stuff piled from floor to ceiling in their room and another room. And the basement. It was my normal growing up. I have no issues with it. Not a problem to talk about. It was her mental illness not mine.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

It's very difficult and there is a lot of shame in talking about it. 

Quoting almburr: I grew up with a mom that way.

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