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Empty threats

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
DS 6 whines and pouts over anything and everything. For the most part, ignoring it works but there are days where I want to scream like last night! He was whining because he wanted ice cream after dinner but he didn't eat all of his dinner. I told him no and started with the arm folding whining and pouting tirade. I looked him right in the eye and told him that if he wants to act like a baby I would treat him like one and make him a bottle and put one of his sisters diapers on him. Of course, I said it without thinking and I don't think I could ever get to that point and really do it. My question is...have any of you actually had to follow through after saying that or did the threat itself stop it?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MissAndree
by Nosuchthing on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:50 PM

I have never used threats to teach my dd how to behave appropriately, so no, I have not. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:55 PM

I am not a big "clean your plate" person.  I would have offered an apple or something, but to expect dessert every time you clean your plate is setting your kid up for some over eating issues.

I would never say that again, but I would say no TV, cartoons, etc tomorrow for you.  One warning in my house then something gets taken away, Lego's for a day, no games for a day, and if it keeps up something else gets taken away. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:57 PM
My husband used to make ridiculous empty threats . I explained it shows maturity to go to the kid and explain he spoke without thinking . Having thought about it the consequences will be blah blah blah . Something reasonable , appropriate and definitely doable .
That worked very well because those warning of consequences were on target to the kids sweet spot so to speak . It also teaches it is ok to admit a mistake and change course .
My husband thought I was correct and followed my advice . Now the empty threats dont happen because my husband does think before giving punishment.
Domermom2026
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:03 PM

If I give the kids a consequence then I follow through. DH is getting better but he used to tell them something was going to happen and never follow through. 

DensHag
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this
My sister made empty threats all the time. Her kids were out of control. They are now adults and have NO respect for her whatsoever.

Mine knew if I said I was going to do something I meant it. We made a practice of following through.
cheekacheeka
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:08 PM

The threat usually stops it, luckily. I've said some pretty ridiculous things to my 3 year old, lol.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:10 PM
It wasn't just about him not finishing his dinner. He does that all the time when he doesn't get his way. I just happened to be tired and didn't want to listen to it and told him that. I try to follow through with what I tell him but after I said it, I thought oh great now what??? He did give me a look like what??? I was just curious if anyone got to the point and followed through not thinking you would really have to.
cali_gurl
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:12 PM

I  just tell him he better act right or he is going to his room. No strange threats needed. Keep the consequences simple and predictable.

PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:19 PM

I used to tell my kid that I was going to exchange her for a nice quiet silk potted plant if she didn't stop whining. 

crowdsourcerer
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:22 PM

.  Belittling him and threatening humiliation are not great for getting the behavior you want, nor the atmosphere that makes happy families.  If I had said I'd retaliate by giving him a bottle and putting a diaper on him, I'd apologize to him, and say mom had a moment where she wasn't acting her best, and he had a moment where he wasn't acting his best.  

Threatening humliation is not about his whining. It's about your inability to handle your own emotional reaction to his whining. It's on you, not on him. 

We've all been there. But you gotta keep it together. Your behavior is instructing everyone at the table how you think it's ok to act when frustrated. 

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