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Things NOT to Say to Woman Dealing with Infertility?

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:13 AM
  • 11 Replies


If you've dealt with infertility you may have been on the receiving end of some cruel or thoughtless comments.

What would you tell others NOT to say to a woman who is TTC?

baby dust


by on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Melissa_4
by Navy Mom on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:41 AM

"If God means for you to be a mother, it will happen."

"Just relax, pregnancy happens when you're not trying."

"You can always adopt."

notuseless
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:44 AM
You won't like kids anyway, they are too much work.
kman88
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:47 AM

Atleast you already have DD/DS.

We had no trouble TTC our DD. We have been TTC #2 for a little over a year now, and recently had testing that concluded with....Its very unlikely we will have another kid without IUI. DH does not want to do IUI so its just highly unlikely we will have another kid. Im often told well atleast you have DD. Yea thats nice but part of the reason we wanted another kid was to give her a sibling. I have a brother and a sister that I am very close with and Im devestated DD likely wont get that opportunity..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:49 AM
So true! If I was told to "relax" one more time, I would have probably screamed! Such a rude thing to say to someone.

Also, after we adopted DS, people assured us this was the cure for infertility. Because of course, my documented medical condition causing my infertility was all in my head. No, adoption does not make someone suddenly fertile!

Quoting Melissa_4:

"If God means for you to be a mother, it will happen."

"Just relax, pregnancy happens when you're not trying."

"You can always adopt."

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:51 AM
It's amazing that people will say such inappropriate things!

Quoting kman88:

Atleast you already have DD/DS.

We had no trouble TTC our DD. We have been TTC #2 for a little over a year now, and recently had testing that concluded with....Its very unlikely we will have another kid without IUI. DH does not want to do IUI so its just highly unlikely we will have another kid. Im often told well atleast you have DD. Yea thats nice but part of the reason we wanted another kid was to give her a sibling. I have a brother and a sister that I am very close with and Im devestated DD likely wont get that opportunity..

kman88
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:55 AM

Its said ALL the damn time. I really just wanna smack the person saying it and ask if they are that stupid...

One of them being my BFF... She says it EVERY time its brought up and it makes me mad every time (I have even told her that is a crappy thing to say but she still says it) So I have started telling her something similar when it warrants... EX-- We work together, on a friday a couple weeks ago she said she was sick... I said "well atleast its the weekend so you wont have to miss any work" lol

Quoting Anonymous 1: It's amazing that people will say such inappropriate things!
Quoting kman88:

Atleast you already have DD/DS.

We had no trouble TTC our DD. We have been TTC #2 for a little over a year now, and recently had testing that concluded with....Its very unlikely we will have another kid without IUI. DH does not want to do IUI so its just highly unlikely we will have another kid. Im often told well atleast you have DD. Yea thats nice but part of the reason we wanted another kid was to give her a sibling. I have a brother and a sister that I am very close with and Im devestated DD likely wont get that opportunity..


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 24, 2017 at 8:58 AM
I guess people are just searching for the right thing to say, but boy some of them are infuriating! Especially after you have told her how you feel.

Quoting kman88:

Its said ALL the damn time. I really just wanna smack the person saying it and ask if they are that stupid...

One of them being my BFF... She says it EVERY time its brought up and it makes me mad every time (I have even told her that is a crappy thing to say but she still says it) So I have started telling her something similar when it warrants... EX-- We work together, on a friday a couple weeks ago she said she was sick... I said "well atleast its the weekend so you wont have to miss any work" lol

Quoting Anonymous 1: It's amazing that people will say such inappropriate things!

Quoting kman88:

Atleast you already have DD/DS.

We had no trouble TTC our DD. We have been TTC #2 for a little over a year now, and recently had testing that concluded with....Its very unlikely we will have another kid without IUI. DH does not want to do IUI so its just highly unlikely we will have another kid. Im often told well atleast you have DD. Yea thats nice but part of the reason we wanted another kid was to give her a sibling. I have a brother and a sister that I am very close with and Im devestated DD likely wont get that opportunity..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 24, 2017 at 9:00 AM

It will happen when God wants it to.

Maybe your miscarriage was a blessing from God because he doesn't want you having kids yet?

You can babysit mine and you will see you don't want any.

IVF is cheap compared to a kid.

Maybe you should foster/adopt instead of continuing to try and have your own?

Maybe you just weren't supposed to be a mother.

I'm pregnant and we don't even want it.

Relax and it will happen.

So when are you and DH going to have a baby? (this is after multiple times of telling people you are infertile)

Oh you are infertile? Have you seen a doctor? They aren't always correct you know!

Cafe AmyB
by on Apr. 24, 2017 at 9:37 AM

Wow!

bad

Quoting notuseless: You won't like kids anyway, they are too much work.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 24, 2017 at 1:00 PM

If it's ment to happen it will happen.

Maybe God doesn't want you to have a child.

You're to messed up to have a child.

You wouldn't be a good mom.

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