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How do you know if a man is genuinely interested in you?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

The last time I dated I was 16, I'm 30 now! I don't want to be overly skeptical but I don't want to be naive either. What are some tell-tale signs that a guy is genuine? What are red flags?

I've been seeing a guy for about 6 months. He lives 2 hours away but has come to see me regularly, never missed a date. We did start a sexual relationship kind of early on (about 3 weeks in), but we do lots of things besides have sex. He even came down once knowing I was on my period. 

We both just went through a rough break up/divorce in the past year so neither of us are rushing into huge commitment but I definitely like the thought of that in the future with him. But at what point does the "more" happen and how? Does someone actually sit and say "okay, we're commited now"? We each have one child, neither of us has introduced the other to our boys yet.

I know I should relax lol, but part of the reason I never wanted to have to date again was never having to worry about being blindsided! Please pass some advice lol. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2017 at 3:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ResidentRedhead
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2017 at 3:47 PM
You ask if you're exclusive. Just take it slow.
12345abcde54321
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2017 at 3:47 PM
It sounds like he's into you but taking it slow which seems like a good thing to do imo
Punky_1981
by Monkey's Mama on Apr. 24, 2017 at 3:57 PM

You haven't dated since you were 16, but you went through a bad break up last year. So I'm going to assume you married the person you just had the break up with, and you were married for a long time. And you've been seeing this guy for 6 months. I'm going to tell you that sometimes its hard to tell, but you'll feel something isn't right with the relationship. And at some point you will have to ask, because men don't take hints well. 

Famousglm714
by Gina on Apr. 24, 2017 at 3:59 PM


Quoting 12345abcde54321: It sounds like he's into you but taking it slow which seems like a good thing to do imo


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2017 at 4:03 PM

Yes, I met my ex at 17 and we dated for 12 years. We never married.  

Quoting Punky_1981:

You haven't dated since you were 16, but you went through a bad break up last year. So I'm going to assume you married the person you just had the break up with, and you were married for a long time. And you've been seeing this guy for 6 months. I'm going to tell you that sometimes its hard to tell, but you'll feel something isn't right with the relationship. And at some point you will have to ask, because men don't take hints well. 


stargazerwolf
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2017 at 4:03 PM

Well from the sound of it, he seem in to you for more than sex. I guess for me it would be defined as committed when you talk about meeting each others families and such. I'm glad to hear you are taking it slow, that is good. Maybe you could ask him if he is ready to meet your family or introduce your kids or whatever. You have been together 6 months so you have done a good job and if you are ready for kids to meet, see if he is. Do you call each other boyfriend and girlfriend? Mostly just talk with him about what you want with the relationship and see if he feels the same. Communication is key! I would say with my past relationships we did at some point say "so are we offically boyfriend/girlfriend?" and from there decide when we are ready to introduce each other to our families.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2017 at 4:06 PM

He tells me all the time how much he likes talking/being around me. And he backs that up by coming down, long phone convos, etc. We don't talk every single day (we usually text at least once a day though) but he's also currently enrolled in a training school that lasts 12 hours a day 6am-6pm. He always responds to me though or calls me back later if he can't pick up when I call. 

Quoting Anonymous 2: When you don't have to ask because he's made it crystal clear.


MissAndree
by Nosuchthing on Apr. 24, 2017 at 4:06 PM

I am a big fan of very open communication. A sign of a good relationship is the ability of and being comforatble with being open and honest about where you are, where you are headed and what your relationship goals are. If you or your partner are not willing to openly and honestly discuss these things, that would be a red flag. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2017 at 4:11 PM

We have not yet called each other boyfriend/girlfriend but he has said little things like "I like it when I woman is comfortable around her man" (after I accidently burped loudly lol). Neither of our extended families live in this state so meeting them would probably come well after commitment anyway. 

Quoting stargazerwolf:

Well from the sound of it, he seem in to you for more than sex. I guess for me it would be defined as committed when you talk about meeting each others families and such. I'm glad to hear you are taking it slow, that is good. Maybe you could ask him if he is ready to meet your family or introduce your kids or whatever. You have been together 6 months so you have done a good job and if you are ready for kids to meet, see if he is. Do you call each other boyfriend and girlfriend? Mostly just talk with him about what you want with the relationship and see if he feels the same. Communication is key! I would say with my past relationships we did at some point say "so are we offically boyfriend/girlfriend?" and from there decide when we are ready to introduce each other to our families.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 24, 2017 at 4:12 PM
With my now dh, I just knew. We spent all of our time together, so I knew he wasn't seeing anyone else. It would be so confusing to start over lol. I suppose you just have to ask if you aren't sure and want to be. It's been 6 months, so that's long enough to ask such a question.
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