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Am I seeing red flags?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 54 Replies

I am talking to a through phone and text. I really like him and he seems like a sweet guy. He works two jobs and has joint custody of his 5 year old son and is trying for full custody. He lives 2 hours away. I see no problem with distance. I think that can be worked out. My issue is with the fact he expects me to go there every weekend. I think it should be a two way street and we take turns visiting each other. He also made it clear he wants me to eventually move there. I dont see why its expected for me to give up my place and my life for him. Shouldnt this be something we discuss down the road? I dont know if these are red flags or not?  There is also the fact he didnt even mention mothers day yesterday expect the fact he was upset I was not there with him. My daughter turns 1 in a few weeks and I was telling him about the planning I did today and all he could ask after I told him about the birthday party was when was I coming down to see him. I think maybe he is being one sided. 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2017 at 12:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jws120567
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2017 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Run!  He sounds just like this one asshole I dated very briefly before I started dating my hubby.  If you continue, your relationship will be ALL about him, until there's nothing left of you!

Lynette
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2017 at 12:54 AM
Yeah he doesn't sound like a very giving guy.
Seagodess
by Emerald Member on May. 16, 2017 at 1:00 AM
3 moms liked this
It sounds like he doesn't care what you want, only himself. You might as well end it now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 1:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I was thinking the same thing but I didnt want to come off as selfish. I dont expect a man to give up everything for me. But he shouldnt expect the same of me either.  I love talking to him on the phone until he starts going off about his ex. All he wants to do is bash her and throw in her face how he has moved on.

Quoting jws120567:

Run!  He sounds just like this one asshole I dated very briefly before I started dating my hubby.  If you continue, your relationship will be ALL about him, until there's nothing left of you!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 16, 2017 at 1:05 AM
This is not cool. He's rushing it, and he's demanding.
jules2boys
by on May. 16, 2017 at 1:13 AM
I see red flags because you're willing yuh meet in the middle and he's "set" where he is. I don't think there is anything wrong auth him being up front with you (or anyone) with his expectations. I did this with XH. He willingly moved my direction. He did the same for SM too.

We were both up front about where we wanted to live (and raise our family). He was willing to move each time. (Even putting him much farther from our boys).

I don't think he's the right guy for you. I don't think he's up for a LD relationship either.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 1:19 AM

I am not completely against moving for a man if I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he was the one but I will not even discuss until we have spent way more time together. I just feel like he should be asking me and not expecting me to move there. I cant be that woman that gives up everything for a man. I did that once and ended up horrible for me.

Quoting jules2boys: I see red flags because you're willing yuh meet in the middle and he's "set" where he is. I don't think there is anything wrong auth him being up front with you (or anyone) with his expectations. I did this with XH. He willingly moved my direction. He did the same for SM too. We were both up front about where we wanted to live (and raise our family). He was willing to move each time. (Even putting him much farther from our boys). I don't think he's the right guy for you. I don't think he's up for a LD relationship either.


squeekers
by squeekers on May. 16, 2017 at 1:21 AM
Oh no. Turn around and walk away.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 16, 2017 at 1:25 AM
Why on earth would he mention mothers day to you? Other than that, he sounds like a douchebag.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 1:27 AM

I did not expect him to mention mothers day. I guess the point I was making is he doesnt even acknowledge the fact I have a daughter. He is always interested in how I can get someone else to watch her for the weekend. 

Quoting Anonymous 3: Why on earth would he mention mothers day to you? Other than that, he sounds like a douchebag.


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