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Is it fixable if my bf is overly critical at times?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies
Yes, I've posted before but I don't get any real responses other than to just leave. I just wonder if anyone else has a blended family and how fixable it is.

My bf is easily irritated with my kids. For example, if the remote control is lost, their shoes are left out, or he thinks they're being too noisy. None of these things bother me too much but they bother him. In other instances when something is punishable (like disrespect), he thinks they should be grounded for a week when I think a one day is more appropriate. He does try to bite his tongue a lot because he doesn't want to upset me, but it does upset me. I told him I feel like he's not endearing toward them and only points out the negative things. He said he care for them and that's why he says anything at all. He says he just doesn't want them to end up in a bad place like their father.

I'm very sweet to he And his child. His child adores me because while I do correct, I also show love and try to bond. He simply corrects and doesn't try to bond with mine. I've talked to him about it before. He says he loves me and the kids and he wants it to work. It's hard because while I do think he means well and legitimately doesn't understand why I'm upset, my kids don't deserve it.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2017 at 9:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 9:35 AM
Bump
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 11:47 AM
4 moms liked this

you dont want us to tell you to leave so go ahead.have him mistreat your kids and make them miserable in their own home..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 16, 2017 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

Some people don't want to deal with other people's kids and I can't blame them. I think it will ultimately be a deal breaker. Maybe he doesn't want to get too close because he's not seeing it lasting long term. Maybe he simply doesn't like kids. 

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 11:53 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 12:37 PM
Thanks

Quoting quinnsmom715:

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 12:37 PM
I told him he doesn't seem like a kid person. He says he loves kids.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Some people don't want to deal with other people's kids and I can't blame them. I think it will ultimately be a deal breaker. Maybe he doesn't want to get too close because he's not seeing it lasting long term. Maybe he simply doesn't like kids. 

ChrissyReznor
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this
No this won't stop and it's just going to get worse the older they get. Your kids are going to remember all this and how you did nothing by the way.
K3412
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 12:42 PM

That sounds really serious. I really don't see how it is fixable, but you can certainly try. I would get professional help -- literature, classes, a counselor, etc. He obviously has different expectations and feelings toward his own child and your children. You have to put your children first; you can't maintain this relationship if it's going to hurt them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 16, 2017 at 12:48 PM
Well my husband is like that (he was not at first or i never would've married him) and its pretty much hell. We have our first counseling appointment today because him and my son can't get along. Do what you want but you're setting up a life of turmoil for not only you but especially your kids. You will ALWAYS be caught in the middle with a fight no one will win. If I had only known how critical my husband would become I would've saved us all a lot of heartache. Just wait until your kids are teenagers.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 16, 2017 at 12:58 PM
Are you the one with the two boys?


No matter, get the fuck out of there, yesterday. Otherwise, you are just setting yourself and your sons up for a lot of heartache.
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