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I kicked my 17 year old son out.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 84 Replies

He is 17 almost 18. He has decided that he is above our rules and comes and goes as he pleases. Because 16 is the legal age to be able to move out /not considered a runaway here in Canada we can not make him come home. We have been waiting until he was 18 to officially kick him out.  If we do something he doesnt like then he will just flat out leave and be gone for days. He wont clean up after himself or help out around the house because he "has no time". It has gotten to the point of constant fights and him being gone more than he is here but causing problems any time he is here. It has become a toxic environment and everyone is walking on pins and needles because of him. 

He did online school with regular classes and ended up graduating early. He is now at uni and working. In some aspects I am just so proud of him but his shitty attitude is just too much to deal with. He wants to be treated as an adult but isnt willing to take any of the actual responsibility of it.  I know he can afford to get a place with friends but he doesnt want to because he wants to live rent free. We ave no problem with that IF he can follow the rules which he clearly can't 

We were going to wait until he was 18 so we wouldnt have to pay child support but at this point it is just not worth it. I doubt he could take it to court and get it ordered by then and even if he does then we will just pay it for a month or two. 

I am sure I will be bashed but sometimes tough love is the way to  go. We cant have him in our house anymore. It isnt fair to my other kids and it isnt fair to DH and I. He is already pretty much an adult, has a somewhat good paying job, and is in his 2nd year of university. Besides this shitty "I am nearly an adult and I know more than anyone else" that started a few months ago he has never done anything to even get in trouble once. 

He left two days ago after he didnt want to clean up a mess he made. We changed the locks and the security code. He wont be coming back. He was warned the last time that if he took off again we were done so he knew the consequences. 

ETA: He has been having a lot of issues and has been physical, verbally abusive, and the cops have been called more than once. 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2017 at 9:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 16, 2017 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Works for me

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

i thnk it sucks they can move out but you have to pay support.if they can move out,why cant they support themselves?makes no sense.laws are weird..

Learnedfrommist
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2017 at 9:41 AM
Sounds like the best option.
Freiheit
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2017 at 9:44 AM
SMH. Don't complain when he's grown with his own kids and wants nothing to do with you and you can't see your grandchildren.
purplepiemom
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2017 at 9:44 AM
Sounds like you did what you had to do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 9:45 AM

If he wants to use this against us when he has kids then it will be his loss

Would you really allow a 17 year old to do whatever they want at the expense of your other childrens happiness and well being?

Quoting Freiheit: SMH. Don't complain when he's grown with his own kids and wants nothing to do with you and you can't see your grandchildren.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 16, 2017 at 9:45 AM
Agree. You have failed as a parent, Op.

Quoting Freiheit: SMH. Don't complain when he's grown with his own kids and wants nothing to do with you and you can't see your grandchildren.
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2017 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

make sure you move all his shit to a storage unit-mail him the address and the access key/code to get to his stuff.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 9:46 AM
2 moms liked this

I used to think that but really my only "failure" is having a son who is so independent. He needs to have this independence out in the real world. 

Quoting Anonymous 3: Agree. You have failed as a parent, Op.
Quoting Freiheit: SMH. Don't complain when he's grown with his own kids and wants nothing to do with you and you can't see your grandchildren.


PJMM
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 9:51 AM
3 moms liked this
Anyone's kid can turn against them at any time. Even Mary had her issues with Jesus up and disappearing didn't she? And what did he say to her worry and concern? 'Where else would i be but the temple?' Like it was self explanatory. No kids have free will. I got lucky with mine but i can't judge someone idk. I'd do the same if US laws allowed. Besides if she coddled the kid and let him live at home you or others probably would still complain.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Agree. You have failed as a parent, Op.

Quoting Freiheit: SMH. Don't complain when he's grown with his own kids and wants nothing to do with you and you can't see your grandchildren.
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