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I don't love you!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
Do you say I love you when you don't mean it, just to be nice?
My in laws (mil, fil, two sil's, and bil) always tell me I love you. I don't know what to say! It's so fucking awkward. I feel like saying I love you when I don't mean it is wrong but at the same time I feel rude not saying it when they are and have been for years (3). I care for them, I like them, I think they're great people, but I don't love them and I don't feel comfortable saying I love you to them.
Should I do something about it like tell them how I feel? Should I just keep avoiding it by saying something like, "bye, it was good to see you" when they say, "bye, love you"? Or should I just say it back to make them happy?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2017 at 2:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 2:46 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 16, 2017 at 2:46 PM

Just say, "Bye!  You too!"

I don't tell people I love them when I don't.  The above seems easier and you're not really saying, "Love you too!".

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 16, 2017 at 2:48 PM
I only say those words to my kids and my SO.
Not even to my own parents.
Maybe answer with an awkward "thank you" and maybe they'll get the hint
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 2:48 PM
To me that feels like a lie though and I have a heavy conscience if I lie, it just feels so wrong and I feel badly for a long time afterward. But I also feel badly after not saying it cuz I don't want to hurt their feelings either.
Honestly I just wish they'd stop saying it to me so it isn't even an issue.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Just say, "Bye!  You too!"

I don't tell people I love them when I don't.  The above seems easier and you're not really saying, "Love you too!".

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 16, 2017 at 2:50 PM
That is nice that they say that, but you don't think they really do? Out of the 3 years, have they gone out of their way for you? Your husband is part of them and I think you really don't love your husband either, but you are not sure?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 2:51 PM
Oh, I try really hard to hide it but I am visibly awkward (have been told by copious amounts of people) when I feel awkward so I know they have to have noticed the change in my demeanor every time they say it to me. I have the worst poker face/body language ever, I would lose everything if I tried to play lol.
The fact that they have to know how it makes me feel but they keep saying it kind of feels pushy to me too. Maybe I'm being bitchy saying that but it feels like that to me. Who keeps pushing saying I love you to someone who is not only not reciprocating but is visibly uncomfortable when you say it?

Quoting Anonymous 3: I only say those words to my kids and my SO.
Not even to my own parents.
Maybe answer with an awkward "thank you" and maybe they'll get the hint
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 16, 2017 at 2:52 PM

I have, yeah. I just keep saying it because it will be awkward if you stop. 

blessed107
by Sapphire Member on May. 16, 2017 at 2:52 PM
Nope, I won't say it unless I really do. It doesn't matter who it is.
Sheila79
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 2:52 PM
If they ever ask you about it then you tell them how you really feel.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 16, 2017 at 2:54 PM

I know what you mean.  My mil says I love you every time we talk or text even though she really hates me.  It's no secret but she puts on an act in front of people.  I stopped saying it long ago.  I just say "Okay take care."

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