Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

those with an idgaf attitude

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
How do you get there?

I fully blame the way I was raised! Lol but other people's feelings are always put before me, sacrificing myself for others type of thing.

So now that I'm older, I'm supposed to be responsible and adult-like.... and I'm struggling with it. Even simple things.... like a call comes through....maybe idk the number or maybe it's my abusive ex- who I do share a child with but in all honesty, he needs to go away and never come back... and I'll answer... putting myself in the line of fire with either telemarketers or my ex's verbal abuse.

If I don't answer, my reflection of myself is horrible.... I'm a shitty person, a bitch, disrespectful... my anxiety skyrockets, my stomach is in knots and I feel like something bad is gonna happen (well, something bad already did happen- me not answering, but I have that 'the world is gonna end' feeling).

how do I move past this?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2017 at 10:18 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 16, 2017 at 10:24 PM
7 moms liked this
When you get into your early forties when your hormones change, you really dgaf. You're older, wiser, been there done that, and meaner.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 16, 2017 at 10:27 PM
I have 13 more years like this?! 😭 lol

Quoting Anonymous 2: When you get into your early forties when your hormones change, you really dgaf. You're older, wiser, been there done that, and meaner.
Seagodess
by Emerald Member on May. 16, 2017 at 10:28 PM
I'm in between. I care about others, especially family and friends. However I don't put them ahead of me in most situations. If I get a call from a number I don't know or someone I don't want to talk to, I just ignore the call. If they leave a VM, I'll check to see what it's about and make the decision to call them back or not. I have basically decided that my happiness comes first in most situations.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 16, 2017 at 10:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Idk.. Just change you're thinking. Rationalize to yourself that you don't feel like answering phone and that's okay. Tell yourself if it's important, they'll leave a message. If you find yourself freaking out, tell yourself again that it's not a big deal. Many people screen calls. I do every day. Remember that every single person alive has screened calls at least once and it wasn't the end of the world.
Also, practice makes perfect. Do this enough times and your anxiety will lessen and you'll become one of us who dgaf ;)
PJMM
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 10:36 PM
This. You can even assign your known callers their own ring tone. I put funny ones for my ex. I can laugh at it and that lowers anxiety. As for telemarketers just say no thank you right away and hang up. I truly don't care they should not bother me. But many times i screen calls. I think most people do.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Idk.. Just change you're thinking. Rationalize to yourself that you don't feel like answering phone and that's okay. Tell yourself if it's important, they'll leave a message. If you find yourself freaking out, tell yourself again that it's not a big deal. Many people screen calls. I do every day. Remember that every single person alive has screened calls at least once and it wasn't the end of the world.

Also, practice makes perfect. Do this enough times and your anxiety will lessen and you'll become one of us who dgaf ;)
Talkingheads
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 10:44 PM
2 moms liked this
Once you hit 40 all your fucks get broken

Quoting Anonymous 2: When you get into your early forties when your hormones change, you really dgaf. You're older, wiser, been there done that, and meaner.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 16, 2017 at 10:48 PM

Foster care. That's seriously where I believe I developed this attitude. I used it as a defense mechanism. I care, too much actually but when I was in foster care-I didn't want my foster family thinking that I cared. I felt like that made me look vulnerable which is not what I wanted. For some reason, I wanted to appear emotionless. 

It's really weird trying to explain it but I haven't moved past it. I still display a very nonchalant, don't care attitude. It's who I am now and I'm fine with that.

JDMlover
by Summer&Lucille on May. 16, 2017 at 10:56 PM
Idk I hit 30 and I needed peace in my life, I worried about everyone and everything; it was exhausting. So I just stopped, it's been a slow process; but damn I feel better.
blue-heart
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2017 at 11:00 PM
My whole life people would walk all over me, demand things of me and from me. For some reason I wanted to please everyone. Then one day, when my sil was being a bitch to me and trying to blame me for something she did. Something inside me snapped. I stood up for myself and didn't back down. Since that day, I don't give a shit. I do care for my family and friends. I still have empathy for other people. But I don't care about trying to please everyone or putting their happiness over my own. If I don't want to talk to someone, I don't. I let that call go to voice mail. If I don't want visitors I tell people not to come by. If I don't want to do something or go somewhere. I don't. I am 33 if that matters.
kman88
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2017 at 11:00 PM

I really don't know. I just realized like a year or so ago that I wasn't so stressed anymore. I was happy and that was because I'm no longer putting everyone else first. I don't even answer the phone if it's someone I know half the time. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)