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My father is not my father---He now knows

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies
I'm currently pregnant with my first biological child (I have two adopted children) and for the first time in my life, my blood type was tested. I'm B-. Which is strange, as both of my parents are type O. I confronted my mother, and she came clean about the fact that she's suspected that I'm not actually my father's child. She asked me not to say anything to him and to drop it.

I can't. I want to know who my biological father is, and I don't think I can keep this from my father. He deserves to know. I love him, and he'll always be my dad and I have no doubt he'll feel the same way about me, but if he ever finds out and finds out I knew and didn't tell him, THAT I don't think he would forgive. I just don't know how to tell him. I dread what this will do to my parents' marriage. I don't know how to feel about my mother.


June 22

Well, my dad knows. I told my mother that either she needed to tell him, or I was going to. She refused, so I invited him over to my house for lunch, and told him. Turns out, he already knew, he'd overheard my mom and I yelling about it on the phone when my mother didn't realize he was home. He was trying to process it, which is why he hadn't said anything yet. He thanked me for telling him, and said that was the one bright spot in this, that I was honest with him. He made sure to reassure me that I'm his child regardless, and then he went home, packed a bag, and moved into my spare bedroom. He hasn't decided yet if he's going to file for divorce or not, but he's leaning more towards yes. He had no idea until now that she'd cheated on him, and so doesn't know who my biological father might be. So far, my mother isn't speaking. I guess it's her form of revenge, though it doesn't really make sense, since she didn't tell me before either. She's called my dad several times begging him to come home, and called me to alternately yell at me for causing this to come out, and begging me to talk to him and convince him to come home.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 26, 2017 at 9:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
goodbyebluesky2
by on May. 26, 2017 at 10:00 AM
The guilt would eat away at me. I'd tell my dad. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 10:01 AM
1 mom liked this
That's how I feel, and obviously these things have a way of coming out. I'd really, really hate for him to find out by accident, and then to find out I knew and didn't say anything, I think would really damage our relationship. I just don't know how to start this conversation.

Thanks.

Quoting goodbyebluesky2: The guilt would eat away at me. I'd tell my dad. Good luck.
blessed107
by Diamond Member on May. 26, 2017 at 10:02 AM
I guess you could all go on that show, paternity court.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 10:03 AM
Never heard of it, is that like Maury? But no, that's not something I would ever do.

Quoting blessed107: I guess you could all go on that show, paternity court.
goodbyebluesky2
by on May. 26, 2017 at 10:06 AM
A good starting point would be the same way you explained it to us :) I think he will appreciate your honesty. And shame on your mother for thinking it's something you should just forget. Because it's not. Again, best of luck to you. I really do hope you find peace in all this.

Quoting Anonymous 1: That's how I feel, and obviously these things have a way of coming out. I'd really, really hate for him to find out by accident, and then to find out I knew and didn't say anything, I think would really damage our relationship. I just don't know how to start this conversation.

Thanks.

Quoting goodbyebluesky2: The guilt would eat away at me. I'd tell my dad. Good luck.
blessed107
by Diamond Member on May. 26, 2017 at 10:06 AM
Nothing like Maury. They pay for the test, the judge would then question your mom if the results are found that your dad isn't your father. It's heartbreaking at times. But it's also heartwarming when the families come together.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Never heard of it, is that like Maury? But no, that's not something I would ever do.

Quoting blessed107: I guess you could all go on that show, paternity court.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Hmm. well, I'll look into it. Between my mother admitting she was sleeping around when she got pregnant with me, and my blood type being what it is, I already know he's not my biological father. I don't know if this is something that they'll make it through together.

Quoting blessed107: Nothing like Maury. They pay for the test, the judge would then question your mom if the results are found that your dad isn't your father. It's heartbreaking at times. But it's also heartwarming when the families come together.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Never heard of it, is that like Maury? But no, that's not something I would ever do.

Quoting blessed107: I guess you could all go on that show, paternity court.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 10:10 AM
Thanks. I guess this is as good a way as any. And I know he will, long term, appreciate being told, but I can't imagine what kind of blow this will be to him, finding out so many years after that his wife was cheating on him.

Quoting goodbyebluesky2: A good starting point would be the same way you explained it to us :) I think he will appreciate your honesty. And shame on your mother for thinking it's something you should just forget. Because it's not. Again, best of luck to you. I really do hope you find peace in all this.

Quoting Anonymous 1: That's how I feel, and obviously these things have a way of coming out. I'd really, really hate for him to find out by accident, and then to find out I knew and didn't say anything, I think would really damage our relationship. I just don't know how to start this conversation.

Thanks.

Quoting goodbyebluesky2: The guilt would eat away at me. I'd tell my dad. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 26, 2017 at 10:11 AM
I'd drop it but that's just me.
aprilsalcro
by Ruby Member on May. 26, 2017 at 10:11 AM
I have a similar story.
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