Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Broken trust

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies
I no longer have trust for dh. There have been hundreds of times over the years he has lied to me, and then manipulated the truth so that he looks right many of those times. Cheating, smoking pot (the main one) and even just stupid little crap.

So anyways Tuesday dh was in town, and he said he was taking out $40 to buy a birthday gift for me. I was so excited, because he hardly ever remembers to get me anything. But I had a nagging feeling he was lying.

So I took a quick peek at the cell phone bill and recognized a number from his dealer on that day. He'd asked him about getting a 40. So I immediately took it as he got the money out for that and actually had nothing and got all upset about it last night.

Well today he shows me he has a gift bag and everything. When I said something about the messages he says he was going to then decided not to be selfish. (I'm an afterthought, like that's so much better.. but still) so I've appologized saying "I'm sorry that I felt you were lying, but when you lie to someone so long you can't expect them to believe you even when you're telling the truth." He's saying how when he tries it just feels like I'm tearing him down.

How do I cross this impass? I'm not going to trust him overnight and may never give blind trust again. But idk what to say to make him feel better. It's his own fault I feel this way.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 26, 2017 at 6:47 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 6:50 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 26, 2017 at 6:54 PM
I couldn't still be with someone like that, sorry.
Mom2Boys9501
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2017 at 6:55 PM
He is the one that needs to prove to you he is sorry. You have every right not to trust him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 26, 2017 at 6:58 PM
I wouldn't have taken that as you were an afterthought, I'd have taken it as he decided to do the right thing.

I get that it's hard to earn back trust when they've broken it so many times (I've been there) but sometimes a person just need a positive response instead of a negative one.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 26, 2017 at 7:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Mobile Photo

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 7:52 PM
I guess I should look at it that way. Even then I'm not entirely convinced he didn't go get it and got my gift free somehow.

I try to be as uplifting as I can, but over the past couple years I've stopped just accepting when he feeds me bs. I know it is something he needs. I'll do my best to be more positive to him.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I wouldn't have taken that as you were an afterthought, I'd have taken it as he decided to do the right thing.

I get that it's hard to earn back trust when they've broken it so many times (I've been there) but sometimes a person just need a positive response instead of a negative one.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)