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Is it tacky?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 30 Replies

Part of me feels that if I have to ask then the answer is yes lol, but I'm asking anyway!  

DF and I have been together for 11 years, have kids, own a home and so on.  One thing I didn't think about until it was mentioned during wedding planning was a gift registry.  We have everything we need in life, so a wedding gift registry seems pointless.  No need for people to spend money on stuff we already have or don't need.  So my question is this:  If people really feel the need to provide a wedding gift, is it tacky to suggest perhaps donating toward the honeymoon or somthing like that?  The honeymoon planning is already in the works and yes we do have the $$ to fund it ourselves, which is why the donating would just be a gift suggestion.  Of course, people would know it's not a requirement...if someone wants to purchase a gift that's fine. Nothing at all?  That's cool too, I'll consider their presence the gift lol.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 4, 2017 at 10:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Jun. 4, 2017 at 10:56 AM
Congrats. Bump.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 4, 2017 at 10:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, it would be tacky.  I would say " Since we have been together for so long, we have decided not to register for gifts." and then if people give you money, they give you money.  If I got an invite to a wedding that ask for dontation to the couple's honeymoon, I won't come to the wedding. 

kajira
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 10:57 AM

I would suggest if you don't need anything, you do a honey moon fund, and maybe a charity of your choice to donate money too, instead.

If you really don't need gifts, maybe make a few options available for them to pick from, I don't see an issue with saying, we've lived together long enough we really don't need anything for our house, but we plan on going on a honey moon and here's the information if you'd like to donate to that, and if not, here's a charity we support that you can donate money too, instead of gifts.

The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 10:59 AM

I personally wouldn't ask for money. My husband and I were living together for over 3 years before we got married. We registered for replacements on household items, like new towels, dishes, etc.

handy0318
by Ruby Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 10:59 AM
2 moms liked this

IMO.. it's always tacky to request money. That said, if you've been together for 11 years and people want to give you a gift, most likely that gift is going to be money anyway.

My cousin married his long-time live in girlfriend and they put this cutsie poem in the invitation about giving money. It was very off putting. We were going to send a monetary gift anyway (and we did), but the asking for it...especially in the invitation was just ....tacky.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 4, 2017 at 11:00 AM

This is a really good idea, what a great way to give back!

Quoting kajira:

I would suggest if you don't need anything, you do a honey moon fund, and maybe a charity of your choice to donate money too, instead.

If you really don't need gifts, maybe make a few options available for them to pick from, I don't see an issue with saying, we've lived together long enough we really don't need anything for our house, but we plan on going on a honey moon and here's the information if you'd like to donate to that, and if not, here's a charity we support that you can donate money too, instead of gifts.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 4, 2017 at 11:00 AM

Yes, asking for cash for your honeymoon in lieu of gifts is tacky.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 4, 2017 at 11:00 AM

i have heard about people asking for donations for a honeymoon, but since you have the funds already and been together so long, i would not ask. i would just simply send the wedding invitation and let people figure out what they get you on their own.

when i got married, even though we registered, not everyone bought something from the registry. some people just bought things they wanted to buy us. my point is that even if you ask people to donate, some still will not donate. so like i said, i would just send the invitation and allow people to do what they want. congrats! :)

ZamilyMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 11:01 AM

It is not at all tacky to make a honeymoon registry. I have friends who did that through a website for their trip to Italy. And instead of asking for flat monetary donations, the site gave specific options: tickets to particular museums, a gondola ride, specific attractions or experiences etc. Then for their thank you cards, they sent pictures of them doing whatever activity you contributed to.

However, it is tacky to say, "Don't give us gifts, just give us money!"

Fabulous24
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Just create a honeymoon registry and maybe update somethings you may need. It gives someone the option. Most people will give you cash anyway.
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