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Wedding day post got me thinking

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
Dh and I are having a small wedding maybe 30-40 guests (all adults) that's not involving all the children, many have young kids around the ages of 1-10 so i know it would be boring for those kids to sit around. Dh and I are going to have a small carnival wedding on his gmas farm... it's in great shape and it's got a ton of room for the rides and games so this way children have something to do while we have the ceremony and then the adults can join into the fun during reception they can dance or go play games and rides.

Well mil is pissed off because she feels we didn't take her into consideration, she said her mother and her never got along and we are having the wedding there to spit her... in all honesty that's not true, it's just less expensive the carnival we are getting 60% off on payment because the owner is a family friend of Dh, I'm cooking the desserts, a place near us is doing all the food(also family friends) plus people can bring food if they wish, Dh and I also have our two friends who do professional photography doing all the pictures.

This wedding is meant to be fun and stress free, even Dh and I have our ceremony clothing that are care free (I'm wearing a little summer dress and dh is doing jeans and a button up.) but mil is trying to make it so stressful by demanding we have it at our local park (which is a good amount of money to try and rent) and she's demanding we do food that she enjoys that's less messy, she also wants it to be all formal, she's trying to force us to choose the person that did her four wedding photos as ours (all her photos came out messy and harrible) we just aren't into that stuff we went fun and stress free!

Are we wrong for not liking her ideas? I already worked with her on the time which we are having in the middle of the day in the summer... and we are paying for everything (only thing my dads paying for is my dress and he wanted to pay for a Dj) and before anyone jumps to this being another mil post Dh and I both don't get along with our mothers, both stole from us, his mother was a hard core druggie that got all her children removed and beat Dh all the time, my mother has cheated and lies and worse
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DanaG70
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:53 PM
No is an acceptable answer, just politely tell no.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:54 PM
Your wedding, your cost = your choices. You are not in the wrong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:55 PM
She doesn't take no easy lol she always demands a reason and won't leave you alone until given one...

Quoting DanaG70: No is an acceptable answer, just politely tell no.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:56 PM
I just i dont know she's making me feel bad and i know I shouldn't because I worked with her a lot on the season and time just so she can be there (we wanted a winter evening wedding)

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your wedding, your cost = your choices. You are not in the wrong.
VickyJoJo
by Gold Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:57 PM

You are not wrong.  It is your wedding and you are paying for it.  Frankly I love your wedding plans.  Your mother needs to be reminded that it is your wedding and not hers.  Can a family friend or another relative speak to your mom?

Congratulations and good luck in dealing with your mom.

motherslove82
by Emerald Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:58 PM
I would say "this is our wedding and this is what we want". Then end the discussion and tell her you won't be talking about it any more.
DanaG70
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 2:59 PM
It's my wedding and I'll do it like I want. πŸ˜‰

If she doesn't take no, get a little more forceful with her.


Quoting Anonymous 1: She doesn't take no easy lol she always demands a reason and won't leave you alone until given one...

Quoting DanaG70: No is an acceptable answer, just politely tell no.
happyflappy
by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 3:00 PM
Agreed. It's your day not hers despite what some people on here will tell you.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your wedding, your cost = your choices. You are not in the wrong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 17, 2017 at 3:02 PM
Tell her no because we don't want that. Then, tell her she'll be uninvited if she continues and mean it.

Quoting Anonymous 1: She doesn't take no easy lol she always demands a reason and won't leave you alone until given one...

Quoting DanaG70: No is an acceptable answer, just politely tell no.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 17, 2017 at 3:02 PM
Hugs! Try not to feel bad. She will get over it in time. If she is grumpy/angry about it, then try not to let it get you down. You are right to want to save money. If she can not understand that then she is just being rude. Her attitude is not your fault. If she isn't paying for the wedding she shouldn't be expecting you to pay extra for her comfort. It is your wedding day, not hers, after all. It sounds like a great wedding. I hope you, your Dh, and the other guests all have fun!

Quoting Anonymous 1: I just i dont know she's making me feel bad and i know I shouldn't because I worked with her a lot on the season and time just so she can be there (we wanted a winter evening wedding)

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your wedding, your cost = your choices. You are not in the wrong.
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