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Bio mama drama Need advice. UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 94 Replies
1 mom liked this
So my oldest DD is set to graduate Thursday!!! So proud of her. She is so beautiful smart, kind, compassionate, and loving..
Well here is the problem, when my dd was 3 and her was 1 their mom left their dad and them for drugs alcohol and another man. When she was almost 4 her dad and I met and fell in love.
We began a life together him,my self his two children and my two children.
Until she was around 10 her mother never saw, called, talked,sent letters to the kids NOTHING!!
Then she decided to come back into the kids lives. Well off and on. Now her mother is back in town and wants to go to the graduation when she hasnt spoken to dd other than a text here and there in the last year.
Okay I and my dh leave the choice of invition up to our dd.
She says She wants her mom there so her feelings are not hurt but she is only allowed 4 "chair tickets". My fil and Mil are in ill health and cant stand for that long so two tickets go to them. She doesn't know what to do. I told her I would give up my chair ticket and she said No you and dad deserve those seats but I dont want to hurt her feelings. I don't know what to do.
Dh and I are at a loss. What do you ladies think?




UPDATE:
I called the school and explained the situation. Talked to the counselor and he agreed to give dd an extra ticket. Thanks for the ideas and advice ladies. You are all so helpful.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:52 AM
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I think at 18 she needs to learn that not hurting her moms feelings isn't her job.

This is something she worked for, this day is about her- not her mom
WickedPissah
by Penis colada on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I couldn't imagine why you would make mil and fil sit through a boring graduation being so ill.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:53 AM

I'd make the choice for her and let her dad tell her mom that you and him get the seats and that way you let her off the hook for being the bad guy. I don't think you should put that on her since it's her big day. 

BCauseImAwesome
by Platinum Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:53 AM
Theres usually extra seats in my expirience. Or you can buy someone else's tickets.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:54 AM
See if the school has any extra tickets. Some schools have a lottery for leftover seats.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:54 AM
See this is what I'm trying to get her to understand. But she is so nice toooooo nice really.
I think she worries that if she hurts her mother's feelings then her mother will stop speaking to her again

Quoting Anonymous 2: I think at 18 she needs to learn that not hurting her moms feelings isn't her job.

This is something she worked for, this day is about her- not her mom
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:55 AM
This is their first grandchild to graduate. They want to be there. Trust me you don't MAKE them do anything lol

Quoting WickedPissah: I couldn't imagine why you would make mil and fil sit through a boring graduation being so ill.
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:55 AM

Do any of her friends have a ticket they wont be using ? We got an extra ticket that way. If not then Bio mom comes she stands. Its about seeing the girl graduate not about who sits and who stands. Hopefully Bio understands that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:56 AM
I'll call the school and ask. Thank you.

Quoting BCauseImAwesome: Theres usually extra seats in my expirience. Or you can buy someone else's tickets.
WickedPissah
by Penis colada on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:56 AM
Isn't it kinda late for graduations?
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