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Bio mama drama Need advice. UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So my oldest DD is set to graduate Thursday!!! So proud of her. She is so beautiful smart, kind, compassionate, and loving..
Well here is the problem, when my dd was 3 and her was 1 their mom left their dad and them for drugs alcohol and another man. When she was almost 4 her dad and I met and fell in love.
We began a life together him,my self his two children and my two children.
Until she was around 10 her mother never saw, called, talked,sent letters to the kids NOTHING!!
Then she decided to come back into the kids lives. Well off and on. Now her mother is back in town and wants to go to the graduation when she hasnt spoken to dd other than a text here and there in the last year.
Okay I and my dh leave the choice of invition up to our dd.
She says She wants her mom there so her feelings are not hurt but she is only allowed 4 "chair tickets". My fil and Mil are in ill health and cant stand for that long so two tickets go to them. She doesn't know what to do. I told her I would give up my chair ticket and she said No you and dad deserve those seats but I dont want to hurt her feelings. I don't know what to do.
Dh and I are at a loss. What do you ladies think?




UPDATE:
I called the school and explained the situation. Talked to the counselor and he agreed to give dd an extra ticket. Thanks for the ideas and advice ladies. You are all so helpful.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 6:50 AM
Replies (91-94):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2017 at 8:03 AM
Yep. I had to with my biological father. And it hurt like hell but it's something she has to do when she is ready. And when her mother eventually gives up on her I'll still be there for her.

Quoting jd83:

 Well, hopefully for her sake it doesn't drag out for years with her trying to "win" her love. It just isn't ever going to happen with someone like that, and it's not worth the energy she's investing that's just going to end up hurting her. Unfortunately, that's something a lot of people have to find out for themselves.


Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't know. She really wants a relationship with her mother but I know at some point she will tire of the way her mother is. So until then we just support her decisions
Quoting jd83:

TBH, I'm not sure why she's so focused on hurting her mom's feelings. Her mom left her without a second thought, and has barely been around at all since then. Why does she care if it hurts her feelings? I wouldn't, that's for sure. A special event like that should be with people who are involved in your life, who truly love you. Not someone who only wants to be around for fleeting moments here and there.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 20, 2017 at 8:05 AM
If it wasn't a troll post you wouldn't be responding to me.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Wrong. AGAIN. And it's not a troll post. Trust me I wish it was. My girl has been through hell because of her mother. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and it would be wrong to troll about this.

Quoting Anonymous 5: I was spot on.

I know you're only responding to my posts to bump up this over done troll post.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yet again wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 5: So stop making it about you. Which is what you're doing.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Wrong again. I don't get angry or hurt by trolls so if that's what you're trying to do you WILL fail.
I don't want to be the center of attention that's for my dd. It's HER day NOT mine

Quoting Anonymous 5: You just thought you'd be the center of attention. Now it's her mom.

Quoting Anonymous 1: No its not that. It's how she is a convenience mother. How she guilt trips my dd.
But Im glad that the school worked with us so she doesn't have to deal with it.

Quoting Anonymous 5: Bm rained on your parade. To think you raised her and your SD still wants her mom there.

Punch in the gut.

Quoting Anonymous 1: You're right. It's not JUST about the ticket

Quoting Anonymous 5: It's funny you couldn't figure out on your own about getting an extra ticket.

But we know this wasn't about a ticket.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Bump for update
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2017 at 8:08 AM
Your logic is flawed but ok. I'll stop responding to you.

Quoting Anonymous 5: If it wasn't a troll post you wouldn't be responding to me.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Wrong. AGAIN. And it's not a troll post. Trust me I wish it was. My girl has been through hell because of her mother. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and it would be wrong to troll about this.

Quoting Anonymous 5: I was spot on.

I know you're only responding to my posts to bump up this over done troll post.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yet again wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 5: So stop making it about you. Which is what you're doing.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Wrong again. I don't get angry or hurt by trolls so if that's what you're trying to do you WILL fail.
I don't want to be the center of attention that's for my dd. It's HER day NOT mine

Quoting Anonymous 5: You just thought you'd be the center of attention. Now it's her mom.

Quoting Anonymous 1: No its not that. It's how she is a convenience mother. How she guilt trips my dd.
But Im glad that the school worked with us so she doesn't have to deal with it.

Quoting Anonymous 5: Bm rained on your parade. To think you raised her and your SD still wants her mom there.

Punch in the gut.

Quoting Anonymous 1: You're right. It's not JUST about the ticket

Quoting Anonymous 5: It's funny you couldn't figure out on your own about getting an extra ticket.

But we know this wasn't about a ticket.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Bump for update
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 20, 2017 at 8:09 AM
Promise?

Quoting Anonymous 1: Your logic is flawed but ok. I'll stop responding to you.

Quoting Anonymous 5: If it wasn't a troll post you wouldn't be responding to me.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Wrong. AGAIN. And it's not a troll post. Trust me I wish it was. My girl has been through hell because of her mother. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and it would be wrong to troll about this.

Quoting Anonymous 5: I was spot on.

I know you're only responding to my posts to bump up this over done troll post.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yet again wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 5: So stop making it about you. Which is what you're doing.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Wrong again. I don't get angry or hurt by trolls so if that's what you're trying to do you WILL fail.
I don't want to be the center of attention that's for my dd. It's HER day NOT mine

Quoting Anonymous 5: You just thought you'd be the center of attention. Now it's her mom.

Quoting Anonymous 1: No its not that. It's how she is a convenience mother. How she guilt trips my dd.
But Im glad that the school worked with us so she doesn't have to deal with it.

Quoting Anonymous 5: Bm rained on your parade. To think you raised her and your SD still wants her mom there.

Punch in the gut.

Quoting Anonymous 1: You're right. It's not JUST about the ticket

Quoting Anonymous 5: It's funny you couldn't figure out on your own about getting an extra ticket.

But we know this wasn't about a ticket.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Bump for update
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