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Would you wait to avoid a temper tantrum from BM? It's long, sorry.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh pays 25% of his income for his two children
He also pays for their health insurance
Half of all medical bills
Half of all extracurricular activities
Plus their school lunches and breakfasts
Plus we spend 250 a piece on school clothes every August and help throughout the year if they need things
Plus we pay for half of their school supplies and again throughout the year if they need things.
And of course throughout the year when things come up dh pays it if he feels like it's needed.

The kids don't ask us for a lot during the year so when they do we always try to oblige. SS wanted to buy a paintball gun from his friend for 50 bucks but since he doesn't work he has no income he asked Dh and Dh gave him the money. Just last month SD decided she wanted a coffee pot for her mom's house so Dh bought her one and a supply of coffee.

I don't mind or get pissed at what dh pays and for what. Those are his children and he needs to help pay for them. I do get upset with BM thinking we should pay more because we have luxuries.

We have cable, a cleaning lady, newer cars, we go out to dinner several times a month and we take weekend getaways two or three times a year just Dh and I and we take the kids on vacation in the summer time.

We aren't rich, we both work and manage our money better than she does. She's made bad choices in life and one of them was marrying a man who's now serving time for killing someone while driving drunk so she doesn't have a two income household (unless you count the child support) She has never learned to manage money, she's constantly broke due to numerous reasons that are all avoidable if she would set a budget.

When she hears we've done something or have something she has she makes offhandedly remarks about how rich we are or that she needs to take us to court. Then like clockwork within a week she's come up with a long list of things we need to pay for.

We've had a cleaning lady for several years and it's never come up until Tuesday. The kids were here when she came in and we were on our way out because she was there. Sd was texting her mom and must have said something about us having to leave because Maria was there. Just offhanded I know she didn't tell her mom in hopes of starting something. Dh received a text message from bm saying he needed to speak with her immediately. When he called she went on about it must be nice to be rich enough to afford help and that if we were that rich she should be getting more in child support and then went on to tell Dh that the kids both have expenses he should be paying and that he needs to pay her more.

This is how she does it each and every time she finds out we've done or have something she doesn't.

The problem is we are starting the process of buying a house. We have the money saved up and have an appointment to speak with our bank about a loan. When bm hears about this she's going to hit the roof. She still lives in a small apartment with the kids.

The kids will be graduating in 2 years for one and 3 years for another and I'm tempted to just hold off on buying a house until then so that we can avoid the shitstorm that will come our way.

I hate to think that bm is dictating our life but I wonder if it's just easier to wait until Dh is done paying child support and no longer has an obligation to bm.

And because this is CM the divorce decree does not state Dh has to pay child support past 18/finished with HIGH SCHOOL. We will help the kids with college and living expenses but they will get the money not bm.

So to keep the peace would you just wait to buy a house?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 12:08 PM
Replies (51-55):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 20 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 7:30 PM
Buy your house. BM can throw a tantrum, her pity parties shouldn't affect your life.
WickedPissah
by Penis colada on Jun. 19, 2017 at 7:31 PM
Nope.

It does amaze me how much info is revealed to all these ex's.

Not everything even if it pertains to the kids is not the ex's business.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 7:34 PM
Buy but say you're renting.
sickofdrama
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 7:34 PM
So let me get tho straight. She gets 25% of his income...tax free, plus 1/2 of every other bill...so basically 50% of his income by he pays 100% of the income tax. . And because YOU also work, and you guys manage and save...she feels entitled to 100% of his income? Fuck her. First of all....in case you didn't know, the ceasing of child support doesn't happen automatically. You ave to APPLY to the state, about 6 months before their 18th birthday...or else it will go on forever with no refunds. Second of all....buy the house in YOUR NAME ONLY, and don't add husband to the title until she's out of the way. You can still both be on the loan. Consult an attorney regarding your rights. Depending on how long until they're 18...Waiting too long to buy a house may cause prices to go up...but maybe not..She's not entitled to ANY of your money and I strongly recommend you don't commit to paying for ANYTHING. And your husband should not sign any commitment for college. If he pays...its a gift. Don't make it an obligation.
sickofdrama
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 7:41 PM
You have no idea. Our " BM" is a doctor. Her " partner" a lawyer. Their combined income in 30 minutes matches our MONTH. Yet we are still having to wash Ss dirty laundry, replace ill- fitting clothing and shoes, get his haircut, buy deodorant and a brush for her house, pay 100% of sports, vacations, grooming...and of course...33% of husbands income..and the taxes. She gets the deduction and plays the " single mother" card all day long..while they have split custody.

Quoting Anonymous 6:

I'm constantly amazed at how many women on here are married to men with an ex who is bad at managing money, throws tantrums, supposedly expects more than her share of CS, etc.  It's pretty difficult to believe.

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