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Does your MIL help?

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2017 at 2:57 PM
  • 63 Replies
Ugh I get so frustrated. Mine does not do shit for us. She doesn't work so she has all the time in the world to help. She does live in another state but that doesn't stop a lot of other involved grandparents. She doesn't have any health problems though she is about 77. My kids aren't babies so they really dont require much. Yes I know I am complaining but I just wish she was more involved especially since I don't have my mom anymore.
by on Jun. 19, 2017 at 2:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Famousglm714
by Gina on Jun. 19, 2017 at 2:59 PM

Not anymore now that she woks. We really don't need her help though. My family does plenty. 

ilovemyboys84
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:00 PM
She did when two of my four were babies. After that we took care of her. She's now gone and I miss our talks
fullxbusymom
by Sapphire Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:00 PM
1 mom liked this

No, she is dead.  Your MIL is almost 80yrs old driving that far for a lot of older people especially when it nears sunset and dark is extremely hard.  She should not have to help you, you honestly at her age should be helping her. 

OrangeBalloon
by Emerald Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:01 PM

No. My MIL lives very far away. She would help if she lived closer. As it is, I am beyond lucky because my Mom lives with us. She helps out a ton. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:01 PM
No... my mil is no help to our family at all!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:02 PM
The grass is always greener on the other side. Mil wanted to eliminate me from the equation and basically wanted to take over. She had no problem trying to jeopardized my kid's health to get what she wanted. I'm glad she has nothing to do with us due to us cutting her out of our lives.
handy0318
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:03 PM

Mine is right next door and is now reaping the benefits of helping out her grandchldren all these years. She's about the same age as yours and relatively healthy, but now that my fil has died, there are some things she is needing help with herself...and my kids are there for her. 

As for yours.. maybe she thinks the distance is too far for her to be of help. Maybe if you explain what it is you would like from her, she would see that she could be more involved in her grandchildren's lives. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:04 PM

Mine lives in the state, about 30 mins from us and has NEVER spent 1 on 1 quality time with our kids.  We likely see her 3 times a year and that is it.  My parents used to live 30 mins away from us and were very involved.  They are still involved and they live a 13 hour drive away.  We don't see them in person nearly as much we would like, but they still call and talk to the kids and aren't judgemental about some of the choices they kids make.

Traci_Momof2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:04 PM

My IL's currently live 1700 miles away so they come visit us once a year.  When they did live only an hour drive away, they still weren't great help.  I mean, we could ask and they would maybe say yes but even then it would be like a huge ordeal for them to have the kids for a few hours.  And since my oldest was a bedwetter she was not keen on having them overnight at all for that reason (and yes he wore pullups and bedpads so it didn't ruin the bed, but she just didn't want to deal with it).  They would also make plans to attend our kids' special events at school, such as Grandparents' Day or the Christmas Concert, and then cancel at the last minute.  Didn't make my kids feel good when they did that.

It's part of the reason why we moved so far away.  Just didn't want to deal with their shit anymore.

Raeann11
by Emerald Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:04 PM

If we ask for help they would. We haven't had any emergency's that we have needed them to drive 5 hours to us. We see them 1-4 times a year. Usually it's a weekend. So we spend as much time as we can with them. Which they always have plans and the kids rarely get to see them even then. If we stay a week. Then they will watch the kids and let us have a date night.

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