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Autism diagnosis at almost 11

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My daughter will be 11 next month and was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder , or what the psychiatrist said would have previously been called aspergers. I'm having a hard time with it, not necessarily the diagnosis after researching it actually makes a lot of sense, but the way I perceive her behaviors and react to them.
She has started taking an anti anxiety medication to help with that aspect of things. My main concern is once school starts again making sure her teacher is aware that sometimes she's not ignoring your directions she's just having a hard time with something going on around her. I also don't want her to use it as an excuse to just not do something she doesn't want to do.
So I guess my question is, how do you determine if something is because of autism or if your kid is just being difficult. Here's an example: before the diagnosis and any talk of a diagnosis she got in trouble at school and wasn't allowed to go to garden club anymore. Garden club was every Monday at 10, one Monday they were doing the physical fitness test in the morning. When it was time for garden club my daughter left the mile run she was supposed to be doing and went to the garden like she does every Monday. Obviously she shouldn't have left, her teacher didn't know where she went and she didn't finish the running portion of the test, but no one told her she was not going to garden that day because it's not really something you think you have to tell a 5th grader. When I talked with her about it she said "well it was time to go to garden so I went like I always do, PE is supposed to be on Wednesday not Monday" to her it was perfectly logical. But how do I tell if she was just trying to get out of running or actually just doing what she thought she should be doing. For the record she is the only one in her class that goes to garden club so it's not like others were supposed to go and didn't, not that she would notice either way she's mostly in her own little world most of the time.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:07 PM
Replies (41-43):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 7:55 PM
Omg, my daughter is similar. We went round and round about estimating for math homework or showing her work on math work. It's like banging my head on a wall.

Quoting illneverbeold: It has been a long road. He would never do any 'unnecessary homework or school work,' but will do anything else that is asked of him. He lives for routine and necessary tasks. We still call him to remind him to take a shower, clean the trash out of his room and wash his dishes.

Quoting Anonymous 5: That's so amazing!!! Thank you.

Quoting illneverbeold:

He started college at 14 and lived at home until 16. He then transfered to a university and lived an hour away. During the first semester the stress was too much for him, he dropped out. He just turned 17 and interns for an engineering company that makes protypes for inventions. I spoke with his supervisor today and he told me DS teaches all the new interns and teaches classes to 4th & 5th year engineering students. So, he still has a chance at life. It did take several weeks for him to warm up to the staff and months to start teaching, but I'm so proud how far he's come!! He would never have gotten so far staying home.

Quoting Anonymous 5: Out of curiosity, does your son live away? Does the college do accommodations? I am new to this all and overwhelmed a bit.

Quoting illneverbeold:

For the garden club deal maybe you can make a weekly schedule so she knows what to expect that week. Also, join us in Autism: different not less I think you'll find a lot of experience and ideas. Just treat her like a normal child that is very, very literal and logical. Make sure you get accomodations for her needs. I wasn't able to get any for my son until he started college. UGH it was such a nightmare!!!

MomLeslieM
by Member on Jun. 21, 2017 at 1:32 PM

My son was also dx'd late w/ ASD - at 10....but to answer your question, sometimes it is very hard to tell but the example you gave above about Garden Club -- well that is most likely ASD behavior - she has a routine that is time/schedule based and it was time for Garden Club - totally Aspie thinking!!  It's what mine would have done.  While a PP said it doesn't matter why the behavior is done it's correcting it that is the thing to do, I do disagree somewhat -- depending on what the behavior was it might be something that she should be disciplined for but if it's due to the ASD then she shouldn't be disciplined just reminded what would have been the right thing to do - just like in the example you gave - going to Garden Club because it was time even though the schedule changed and she should have stayed in PE is a "Let's talk about this and how schedules sometimes change" kind of thing versus if she purposely wandered off from the run becuase she didn't want to do it - then she should be disciplined for wandering off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 21, 2017 at 2:54 PM
I pretty much explained tonher that her teacher needs to know where she is so she needs to let her teacher know if she is leaving when they are not in the classroom. I think that her teacher being sure to make sure she is aware of schedule changes and saying something like "today we are doing a PE test so you will not be going to garden club today" really laying out what she should expect is something that should be added to her IEP.

Quoting MomLeslieM:

My son was also dx'd late w/ ASD - at 10....but to answer your question, sometimes it is very hard to tell but the example you gave above about Garden Club -- well that is most likely ASD behavior - she has a routine that is time/schedule based and it was time for Garden Club - totally Aspie thinking!!  It's what mine would have done.  While a PP said it doesn't matter why the behavior is done it's correcting it that is the thing to do, I do disagree somewhat -- depending on what the behavior was it might be something that she should be disciplined for but if it's due to the ASD then she shouldn't be disciplined just reminded what would have been the right thing to do - just like in the example you gave - going to Garden Club because it was time even though the schedule changed and she should have stayed in PE is a "Let's talk about this and how schedules sometimes change" kind of thing versus if she purposely wandered off from the run becuase she didn't want to do it - then she should be disciplined for wandering off.

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