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I'm leaving my husband and children today [NEW UPDATE]

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 349 Replies
9 moms liked this
I'm done. I am tired of the disrespect and humilliations. I'm saving the kids I can and just be done with the others.

I have 7 kids, ages DS21, DD19, DD18, DS16, DS10, DS7 and DD4. I'm only taking from DS10 and down. All the others can see what they do with themselves, see how they manage to do shit without mommy there, see who they step on when their doormat is gone. Same for my husband, see what his useless ass can do now that he will be on his own.

I know is probably my fault but I am done. I've tried so hard and all I get back are insults and humilliations. I can't take it anymore. I feel horrible but I feel like if I stay here, I'll end up killing myself because I'm so depressed, I am tired all the time, I hate that I have to walk on thin eggshells around them. Having to jump and obey their orders and wants.

So I am doing what I can to not kill myself and properly raise these kids before it is too late.

I guess I am a horrible mother and wife but this is what I have to do.

[Update]

I never new just a day of freedom would be so great, even though my three kids are irritable (especially DS10) and definetely not happy, I was able for the first time in their lives to correct them when they were rude to me. And they listened! Because there was no daddy to run to and get me in trouble. Teachers said they were a little down and grumpy all day but overall they behaved okay. No one went to pick them up and called.

They are all tired, is the first time they had to wake up so early and had to use public transportation, there was a lot of traffic in the afternoon and it took nearly an hour and half to get back home, they complained a lot but they survived.

As for me, I am very tired but feeling so damn happy and flr the first time years I don't feel like shit at this hour, I didn't have to listen tl anyone ordering me around, calling me names, laughing at me, making me feel crazy, etc. I cleaned two houses today. I wasn't able to go look into the divorce and custody but now I know I don't have to work on Friday's morning so I will go then. It feels great to be doing my own thing and being able to decide what I want and what I don't want to do.

Thanka for the nice comments of encouragement.



[Update 2]

I want to start by saying thank you flr the support and good luck wishes, I truly apreciate them and are giving me strenght.

This way a "meh" day overall. The kids were very mean since they are yet to adjust, Inwas expecting it so it is not surprising, but still very tiresome and made me wonder if I can do it, if I can properly parent them but I still corrected them and it felt great to be listened. Even though they were more defiant today, in the end they all had to obey.

It was a good day at work, I guess.

Although yesterday I was feeling great and happy, I guess all the excitement came down today and I realized I still feel like shit, it was hard to go through the day but I did it. I have to do it. I'll just take it one day at a time until I can get mental help.

I got a text from my husband asking if the tantrum was over, after leaving him on seen he just texted again "Guess not. Okay, I'll let you continue with your stupidity". No one went to the school for the other kids or called, teachers say they haven't received any messages either.

DS10 said he saw DS16 when school was over but DS16 didn't talk to him.

I only wish for them to not do anything until Friday when I am able to go file for custody of the kids.



[Update 3]

Thanks once again for all the support and interest you have in what is going on in my life.


Today was not a very good day, to be honest. DS7 and DS10 were very very difficult today, very defiant and then I received a call from school saying DS10 and DS16 were fighting during lunch. DS16 crossed to the elementary school section just to pick a fight with DS10, the teacher said he (DS16) insulted him and pushed him. Now DS16 is suspended for three days (Tomorrow plus Monday and Tuesday next week) for messing with a young child.

After that I received a ton of text from all the other kids insulting me and saying how much they hate me, and that never in my life have I ever been more useless than now. And then in the night my husband texted me asking when the fuck was I getting my ass home, because now it was getting troublesome and blaming me for DS16's behavior and that he is getting tired of my shit, that he expects me to get my ass home soon because he's done and apparently I need to be taught a lesson.

So now I just feel like shit, until a little while ago I couldn't stop crying and I'm just wondering if this is actually a good idea, if there is any point, if I can really do it... If I really want to do it. But I gotta do it, right?... this is just a bad day.

Work was fine. And the highlight of my day was DD4 being a great kid, she asked to help when I was cooking dinner and we had a good time even though she trew a tantrum afterwards.

I don't think I'll send the kids to school tomorrow, I'll just take them with me for the custody thing. I'll update tomorrow.


[Update 4]

Once again, thank you all for your support and good luck wishes.

I went today to the department of women and children, they are my best option since it is free. They said I did a good thing and told me to remain strong, they gave me temporary custody of the kids until the court time comes (on July 6th), I showed them the texts and the thing with DS16 and they agreed that it was better to stay away. They said they'd contact him today to tell him about the court date and sure thing, I once again received a shit load of texts ranging from insults and threads to him apologizing for being mean and promising to change and be good so I should stop it with all this that the point is made and they understand.

But I am not failing for that. This is scary as hell but I will do it. Until the court date he is not allowed to take the kids or get near me, I will go to school to let them know and to ask them to please keep a very careful eye on my children.

On the other hand, the kids were not so good but not terribly bad. DD4 was the best, she still throws random horrible tantrums but for the most part she is being nice and seems happy when she gets to help doing things around the house. DS7 threw all his food on the floor today and after a long fight with him he finally cleaned it up. DS10 was very mean and is currently writing an apology letter.

I am tired and I still need to do the divorce thing, they said it was going to be done todat as well but then said custody was more important and that the divorce part will be done on Monday. I just started working ans I will have to ask for a free day already because of that but this is the price to pay for working with the government haha.

I am feeling much better now that I know my kids are only meant to be with me unt the court day and the lady working on the case told me that due to my husband's job and the texts, it was almost sure I'd get full custody of them. They gave me an emergency number to call if he finds out where I am or if he tries to take the kids away.

[New update]

Thanks for all the messages asking how we are doing or expressinh concern.

I have not gone back to my husband but things are not going that easy with the divorce matter and the kids and all.

My job is going great, I received my first check and it felt wonderful to know it was all mine and earned with my sweat. However my joys don't last very long... I thought I'd be more happy these days but truth is I'm exhausted and more often than not I cry myself to sleep, well not only to sleep but my eyes seems to have transformed into an endless fountain, the most stupid thing will make my eyes water and sometimes it is really hard to hold back the tears. Guess it will pass in time, at least I hope so.

I have full custody, he tried to get full custody but he works crazy hours and yhete is no one that can watch the kids in his absence. Is hard for fathers to get custody here, anyway, they must demostrate the mother suck really badly for them to get custody. He has to pay CS and the kids visit whenever he has a free day, but he has to call me to let me know so yeah, although I wish I didn't have to deal with him, I do have to.

Divorce thing... Well, it is not going that great. If I had the money, I'd go with someone not affiliated to the government, it would be much easier and faster but I don't have thay kind of money so I have to go by the rules of the goverment. They want us to take a few sessions with a family counselor to see if wr can work things out and if after that I'm still set on getting a divorce then they will proceed. It is stupid and I don't get why I have to do something like that but they say it is because many women decide in the middle of the process to not do it and it is problematic so they do it like this.

He could take this out of the government but he is all for it. He calls and texts and he is so damn nice... He apologizes over and over again and says he will never do anything bad to me again and that I can even work if I want to (but not cleaning, he said). He has take the kids three times and everytime I go for them he says nice things to me and tried to give me a gift but I didn't accept it. Is scary that more than once or twice, I've caught myself thinking that perhaps all he needed was to know I could walk away so he'd wake up and see he can't treat mr like shit... That perhaps he does loves me and that things can work out for the best. I feel disgusted with myself when that happens and I'm very ashamed to admit that for a moment I felt hopeful when they said we had to go with the counselor and see if things can be fixed. I'm an idiot, I know, but I won't fall for any of that. Or so I hope... No, I won't, I can't.

Kids are doing better, still defiant sometimes but overall very good. DD4 is the one that has accepted the change the best, she loves to help me around the house, is very obedient (although she still throws horrendous tantrums from time to time) and lately she's been sleeping more in my bed than in hers (not that I'm complaining haha it is great). DS7 is sometimes great, other times is horrible but overall is doing fine, he already made a friend, there is a kid his age that lives next door and they often play together. DS10 is the most difficult, he sometimes is very nice and obedient but more often than not he is quiet and gets angry easily.

We had a good time this weekend, though. Everyone was happy, no tantrums and no angry faces, I took them to a water park. We had a lot of fun together, they were all talking to me and DS10 was even joking around. It was so damn nice, Oh my was it nice. Hopefully when I get paid again I'll take them somewhere else to have a good time again.

I think that's all that's new... Sorry, in the end it became a huge update and I made you all read a lot. Thanks once again for the worry and good wishes.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:39 PM
Where are you going?
momto1girl2007
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:40 PM
OK good luck
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:40 PM

Where are you going?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Have you tried therapy? Family counseling?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:41 PM
I left mine today too.... that is to go to the gym!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

That is a lot of kids. I don't blame you to be honest. Hugs and I hope you feel better. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:44 PM
I understand you, I feel like this most of the time, minus killing myself, please don't think like this your younger kids needs mommy the other older once sounds like asses along with your dh. Do what best for you and the youngest children.
cynnie22
by Platinum Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:48 PM

Where are you moving to? Have you already signed a lease?  I take it you have employment.  Will you be staying in the same area so the younger ones can attend the same daycare?  What's your plan?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:49 PM

If there have been boundaries crossed for what seem like years, why now ? I have two teenagers (16 and 18) and they need me and I would never abandon them before seeking professional marital and family therapy.

mrsmom110
by NO on Jun. 19, 2017 at 3:50 PM

This.  

Quoting Anonymous 3: Have you tried therapy? Family counseling?


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