Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I deal?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

My sister and I have never really gotten along and now we are both adults. She is significantly older but I am the one with kids and am married. She has one of those attitudes that she just cannot see from another's perspective and that her opinion, viewpoint, whatever is correct and if you don't agree, you are an idiot. She isn't the type to cuss or use slang as insults, but it is tone that is either snarky, sarcastic, or just flat out nasty/bitchy. This isn't a personal perspective of a little sister either. This is an issue she has with everyone around her but she just doesn't get it. She treats my kid fine and is loving and she is a teacher who also treats the kids wonderful. It seems to be directed at adults and particularly the ones that are in the closest circle such as family. I rarely speak to her other then holiday dinners or if there is a neccessity to contact and we both keep it to a minimal. I have straight up asked if I did something wrong and she said no, but that we are jsut 2 different people. I can see that but that doesn't explain the nasty attitude. 

Yesterday, she made a post on my FB that was neutral to begin with and I asked a clarification question on the post and she responded like a dick so I explained why I didn't understand and she just devolved into continuous asshole comments to the point I deleted the post (I don't allow that type of shit on my fb.). It came off as trolling with her not probably knowing what trolling is.

I really am at a loss of what to do. I want a relationship with her and I have done everything in my power and she just refuses to meet me half way and acts like I am to blame for the issue when everyone in the family knows it is her doing this. I am just sad and lost on what to do.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:12 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
andreamarie
by Platinum Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:15 PM
You can't force her. But, it seems you are better off on your own.
cali_gurl
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:18 PM

Stop chasing a toxic person. Not worth it. Move on and only spend time with people who treat you with respect.

LeftieX
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:21 PM
Why do you want a relationship with her? Maybe in another few years she'll chill out and come to you and explain her behavior. Until then, leave the relationship as it is, holiday nicities only.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:22 PM

Ask her to join CM, she will fit right in with the "Popular members".  LOL

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:26 PM

You can't move on from someone who you have no option but to interact with at the very least on holidays.

Quoting cali_gurl:

Stop chasing a toxic person. Not worth it. Move on and only spend time with people who treat you with respect.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:27 PM

Because she is my only sster and when my mother goes, that is it. It is just us.  Though I get many siblings have not the best relationship but often they can at least be respectful. She is going to be 40.... This isn't a 20's issue. I have been told by older family that she was like this even before I was born, so I doubt she will.

Quoting LeftieX: Why do you want a relationship with her? Maybe in another few years she'll chill out and come to you and explain her behavior. Until then, leave the relationship as it is, holiday nicities only.


cali_gurl
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:28 PM

Yes you can. Treat her like an ex boyfriend you run in to. With calm politeness and detachment. If you keep letting her bring you down she will.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

You can't move on from someone who you have no option but to interact with at the very least on holidays.

Quoting cali_gurl:

Stop chasing a toxic person. Not worth it. Move on and only spend time with people who treat you with respect.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:28 PM

I would keep her at a distance. Don't depend on her or engage online. Obviously that's not working. I would just keep interactions brief and friendly when you see eachother. I know you want more, but that may not be possible right now, or ever.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:28 PM

She isn't a mom so why would I do that? She also is old school and only has internet for work really and minimal interaction otherwise. 

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Ask her to join CM, she will fit right in with the "Popular members".  LOL


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2017 at 5:30 PM

Well since I am friends with all my ex's that won't work.  And I have been treating her that way regardless. It isn't even a constant thing either. It always comes out of the blue. Most oft he time we have strained but respectful "stay in your corner" interactions due to it usually being at a family gathering. Then wham, no where over nothing she wigs. I think she has BPD

Quoting cali_gurl:

Yes you can. Treat her like an ex boyfriend you run in to. With calm politeness and detachment. If you keep letting her bring you down she will.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

You can't move on from someone who you have no option but to interact with at the very least on holidays.

Quoting cali_gurl:

Stop chasing a toxic person. Not worth it. Move on and only spend time with people who treat you with respect.




Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)