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I didn't know it was abuse!?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
2 moms liked this
This was my problem for far too many years. I didn't think the abuse "was that bad" or actually abuse. Words can be more destructive than actions sometimes.

If you have experience with an abusive relationship, please share the warnings and signs you see now or did see in the past.

http://www.thehotline.org
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Trouser.Mouse
by on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:16 PM
1 mom liked this
That reminds me. There's a documentary about domestic violence that I wanted to watch.

Bump.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:17 PM

Is it the one on netflix?

Quoting Trouser.Mouse: That reminds me. There's a documentary about domestic violence that I wanted to watch. Bump.


Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:18 PM

Yes words can be very damaging

ALynn565
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:19 PM

Is it on netflix? Do you remember the name of the documentary?

Quoting Trouser.Mouse: That reminds me. There's a documentary about domestic violence that I wanted to watch. Bump.


This_Lady_KK
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I guess my point of view is that most people do not realize that emotional or verbal abuse is, in fact, abuse.

Psychological abuse is abuse. 

My step father used to tell me that I was a worthless piece of shit every time I did something wrong. Even worse, he would say the only thing I had going for me was a nice pair of tits. His words. He would constantly "test" me by leaving the phone in a certain place to see if I put it back. He wouldn't leave it on the charger, he would leave it on the arm rest or something. Then, he would scream at me for borrowing THE FUCKING LANDLINE HOUSEHOLD PHONE and putting it back on the charger, as he had taught me to do so many times. BUt no, that wasn't good enougn, because I was supposed to put the portable phone back wherever I had found it and I was not supposed to take the PORTABLE phone away from the phone charger.

I guess I'm still a little sensitive about it.

Trouser.Mouse
by on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:19 PM
Yes, I think I saw it on Netflix. I told myself to keep it in mind.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Is it the one on netflix?

Quoting Trouser.Mouse: That reminds me. There's a documentary about domestic violence that I wanted to watch.

Bump.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:22 PM
Where the hell was your mother?

Quoting This_Lady_KK:

I guess my point of view is that most people do not realize that emotional or verbal abuse is, in fact, abuse.

Psychological abuse is abuse. 

My step father used to tell me that I was a worthless piece of shit every time I did something wrong. Even worse, he would say the only thing I had going for me was a nice pair of tits. His words. He would constantly "test" me by leaving the phone in a certain place to see if I put it back. He wouldn't leave it on the charger, he would leave it on the arm rest or something. Then, he would scream at me for borrowing THE FUCKING LANDLINE HOUSEHOLD PHONE and putting it back on the charger, as he had taught me to do so many times. BUt no, that wasn't good enougn, because I was supposed to put the portable phone back wherever I had found it and I was not supposed to take the PORTABLE phone away from the phone charger.

I guess I'm still a little sensitive about it.

This_Lady_KK
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:23 PM

She was on the couch.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Where the hell was your mother?
Quoting This_Lady_KK:

I guess my point of view is that most people do not realize that emotional or verbal abuse is, in fact, abuse.

Psychological abuse is abuse. 

My step father used to tell me that I was a worthless piece of shit every time I did something wrong. Even worse, he would say the only thing I had going for me was a nice pair of tits. His words. He would constantly "test" me by leaving the phone in a certain place to see if I put it back. He wouldn't leave it on the charger, he would leave it on the arm rest or something. Then, he would scream at me for borrowing THE FUCKING LANDLINE HOUSEHOLD PHONE and putting it back on the charger, as he had taught me to do so many times. BUt no, that wasn't good enougn, because I was supposed to put the portable phone back wherever I had found it and I was not supposed to take the PORTABLE phone away from the phone charger.

I guess I'm still a little sensitive about it.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:27 PM
Disgusting and she allowed this? My guess is that he treated her like that as well.

Quoting This_Lady_KK:

She was on the couch.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Where the hell was your mother?

Quoting This_Lady_KK:

I guess my point of view is that most people do not realize that emotional or verbal abuse is, in fact, abuse.

Psychological abuse is abuse. 

My step father used to tell me that I was a worthless piece of shit every time I did something wrong. Even worse, he would say the only thing I had going for me was a nice pair of tits. His words. He would constantly "test" me by leaving the phone in a certain place to see if I put it back. He wouldn't leave it on the charger, he would leave it on the arm rest or something. Then, he would scream at me for borrowing THE FUCKING LANDLINE HOUSEHOLD PHONE and putting it back on the charger, as he had taught me to do so many times. BUt no, that wasn't good enougn, because I was supposed to put the portable phone back wherever I had found it and I was not supposed to take the PORTABLE phone away from the phone charger.

I guess I'm still a little sensitive about it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 19, 2017 at 9:30 PM
Not myself but my friend years ago. It started with rough humor, them 'ripping' on each other and it progressed to him actually calling her names and putting her down, even in public. She'd pretend to laugh it off and when I'd ask her about it, ask her didn't she think that he was being very harsh in his 'humor' she'd just say' oh that's just how he is'. But it wasn't humor, it was just mean. He was also controlling, told her she didn't do things right, he was extremely critical and negative. Eventually she decided to leave. He pretended to be very sad and tried a sad sack act to try to manipulate her feelings so she'd feel guilty and stay but then when she told him it was definitely over he got mean, lawyered up and tried to ruin her. He was controlling and manipulative and for a while he had her fooled, those are things that can trip up a lot of women. He'd act like a jerk then do something really nice for her, buy her another painting or art or a car (yes a car) and she'd forgive him and then she'd get sucked right back in again. He had insisted she not work because he had money, and then when the time came she had no money for a lawyer, she ended up with 20k and a six year old car. And to get that she had to sign a paper saying she wouldn't talk about the issues surrounding the divorce and what she got. Still controlling her even afterwards. If a man isn't trying to build you up, and is always saying things that could tear you down, that can be abusive. If he tries to manipulate your feelings, that is part of abuse.
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