Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm worried about my little sister, she's falling apart

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
My little sister has always been a little bit... sloppy about life

She ran away a lot as a teenager. She dropped out of college. She partied and dated a lot in her 20's. She randomly cut herself off from the family and would disappear for months at a time. I seriously think she has an undiagnosed mental illness

Well, she's 33 now with a toddler. She had been doing well for years, had a good job with the city for 6 years. She was healthy, seemed happy, fixed her credit, was always around. When she got pregnant she went to all her doctors appointments, took care of herself, and had a healthy baby. She was a devoted mom, I was happy she finally seemed to grow up

Last year her SO got arrested and locked up. We found out he was an addict and had spent all their money. We actually worried that she might of been an addict to, but she was tested randomly for her job
She lost the house, she lost her job because she didn't have childcare, she lost everything. It was heartbreaking, it was like watching her unravel right in front of us

Her and her daughter moved 4 times in the past year, she started cutting herself off again from everyone, and just spiraling back out of control. It was such a rough year for her

Now she's back with her child's father, moved away from us, and I'm so worried about her.

I hate him for what he did to their family and what he did to her. I hate that his addiction ruined their lives and I'm annoyed at her for choosing to stay with him over her own well-being

I know it's not my choice, but I wish that I could force her to get away from that piece of crap

Ugh. Okay I'm done venting
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:46 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
JDMlover
by Summer&Lucille on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:49 AM
Vent away hon, it sucks to say; but everyone has their own path to follow. More often than not they'll go it alone, just be there for her as much as you can; she may just wise up one day.
Iyamail
by on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:31 AM

My dear, how hard it can be to watch your little sister fall apart this way. What a struggle it must be to know what to say to her and do for her. Have you thought about just being present for her and offering your open arms and help whenever she has a need? Being present will wipe away her pain and allow her to draw upon your strength as she walks through this difficult times. I will be praying for you and your sister that she comes out on the other side of this trial.

God bless you,


mamafor6
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:32 AM
This exactly this

Quoting JDMlover: Vent away hon, it sucks to say; but everyone has their own path to follow. More often than not they'll go it alone, just be there for her as much as you can; she may just wise up one day.
alexmom529
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:35 AM
So when he was arrested and she began to lose everything did you all step in to help or sit back and say "well that sucks"?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:38 AM
Thanks

I know, I know. I have to let her make her own mistakes, I'm venting here, but I never vocalize to her my pinons on her life choices.
We try to come up with excuses to see her, I offered to bring her my daughters old clothing, we offer to take her out to lunches, I've offered to take her to get our nails done together.

I never come out and say that I'm just coming over to check on her, I try really hard not to criticize her house when I am there and instead just start cleaning up. Every time we offer help though, she gets really defensive

She won't return calls for weeks at a time, then she'll call us hysterical and crying and not really explaining why

Quoting JDMlover: Vent away hon, it sucks to say; but everyone has their own path to follow. More often than not they'll go it alone, just be there for her as much as you can; she may just wise up one day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:39 AM
We help as much as we could.

I paid for storage unit for her to keep her stuff at, we arranged for her to get an apartment near us, I even got her a few job interviews that she blew off

We offered to help watch her daughter, we offered to do everything we could. She just refused help of any kind

Like I said, she would go weeks at a time not answering phone calls or showing up to family events.

Quoting alexmom529: So when he was arrested and she began to lose everything did you all step in to help or sit back and say "well that sucks"?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:40 AM
Thank you

Just being present is about all she lets us do for her nowadays, and even that's a stretch. Probably every 10 times I called her she will answer once

Quoting Iyamail:

My dear, how hard it can be to watch your little sister fall apart this way. What a struggle it must be to know what to say to her and do for her. Have you thought about just being present for her and offering your open arms and help whenever she has a need? Being present will wipe away her pain and allow her to draw upon your strength as she walks through this difficult times. I will be praying for you and your sister that she comes out on the other side of this trial.

God bless you,

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:41 AM

Did her family step up to offer support when her ex went to jail?  Support in the form of a listening ear (not advice), child care, help moving, finding alternative housing,  and so forth?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 11:45 AM
Yes, all of that

We tried to get an apartment for her, and pay the down payment, but she refused to move there because she couldn't take her dog
We paid for storage unit, we offered child care

We brought food over to the house for her when she couldn't afford it, try to do everything we could.

Sure if use a lot of help, when we did see her she was just out of it. Like I said, I don't believe she was on drugs because she didn't lose her job, but some days she would just stare into space, other days she would behave hysterical

It was a mess, and we were all afraid of trying to force her into anything because she would just take off on us

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Did her family step up to offer support when her ex went to jail?  Support in the form of a listening ear (not advice), child care, help moving, finding alternative housing,  and so forth?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 12:55 PM
And when you say "her family" do you mean me?

Her SO and his family pretty much left her high and dry


Quoting Anonymous 2:

Did her family step up to offer support when her ex went to jail?  Support in the form of a listening ear (not advice), child care, help moving, finding alternative housing,  and so forth?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)