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Kind of nervous about TTC

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
Hello! I'm a stepmom, not yet a bio mom, to a 5 year old boy.

He's an awesome kid. Polite, generous, calm, caring, etc. just everything you could want in a child. He offers to help, he doesn't back talk, doesn't complain.

I always wanted to have 2 kids close in age so they could grow up together like my brother and I did. The more I got to know SS the more I looked forward to this dynamic. He'd be an amazing big brother and I love that my kid would have such a good older kid to look up to.

The problem with that is that my stepson is already 5 so he's nearing the "cut off" age to be close in age to his sibling. If we wait longer and then have fertility problems, he could be 10 or older before I have my first.

Maybe I'm just feeling nervous about officially TTC but I just don't know if I'm ready. I've only been out of college for 3 years and we've been together for 3 years as well.


The thought of having my own baby makes me nervous. Is that normal? I just feel a lot of pressure to pick now or later. I want them close in age but I don't want to have a baby right now. I can't have both but I don't know which road to take either.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-9):
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:23 PM

I think being nervous is normal.  But I wouldn't put too much stock in having kids close together in age, there are benefits to both ways.

carterscutie85
by Queen Bee on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:28 PM

I'm closer to my sister that is 23 years older than me than I ever was to my sister that is 2 years older than me. Age doesn't always matter.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:28 PM
Well I actually grew up with both.

My sister is 12 years older than me and my brother is 8 years older. My little brother and I are 2 years apart and extremely close. The older 2 are close with each other but not us.

My older siblings have always treated my brothers like we are their children or niece and nephew. I hate the dynamic.

So that is part of why I don't feel good about waiting.

Quoting corticosteroid:

I think being nervous is normal.  But I wouldn't put too much stock in having kids close together in age, there are benefits to both ways.

Mrs_Sweet
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:28 PM
It's hard to tell what the dynamic will be. My brother was five years older than me and we were never close until he had children. My friend is ten years older than her brother and they are very close. I would wait until you feel more ready.

Yes, it is normal to be nervous. It changes nearly every aspect of your life.
anonomomma
by on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:29 PM
There is nothing stopping you from having two of your own children close in age.
LovelyLace
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:31 PM
Aww you sound like such a good step mom! Wish all step moms were like that. It's normal to be nervous but that's actually not that far apart in ago. My bro and I are 5yrs apart and we're always close. My kiddos are 18mos apart and super close but we are planning on another within the next couple of months
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:34 PM
Don't do it just because you want to fulfill some notion that really doesn't matter in the long run. Wait until you are ready.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:36 PM
Breathe. Have the child when you're ready. Don't rush, just try to accommodate the needs of a kid. You don't even know what those needs are.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 1:40 PM
Enjoy your marriage and life for awhile longer. There's no hurry and you could always have your children close in age. There's already a gap with the 5 year old so I wouldn't even let that be a consideration. I'm sure he loves his time with you. Enjoy it.
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