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Autism moms

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
My son was recently diagnosed with autism. (And i know aspergers isnt a used medical name anymore) but thats more what he has. He is "high functioning" .

Its just been so weird since the diagnoses and i have no one to talk to. Our live has been played out in areas that he is "the problem child" "not being disciplined enough" "i was a lazy mom" "oh he definitely has adhd no doubt" "why isnt she medicating him. And why is she medicating him" these are things we deat with our whole lives. He is 8 . It was kind of a running joke in our family that he hd aspergers when he was younger and really through most his life. But you know it was never really .... 100 percent. You know ? I never imagined we would fianlly get that diagnoses and at this age. Ita strange now because i wonder if people would have treated him differentlt along the way if they had known from day one.

Alot of my family pushed us away as the years went on because there is alot of stress that came with me and my kids. Mostly that we were hard to deal with. Constatn loudness and craziness with kids and constant me being angry and loud. And constant disciplining. I was not and am not the best mother but i work hard every day to try and improve. This isnt about me either jusy throwing that out there.

ANYWAY.. it seems some people like... my sisters. Early 20s Treat him kind of rude alot. Always have. Cos hes "annoying"

Its not my spot or right to decide what is right or wrong or accepted or normal BUT is it wrong of me to have hoped a diagnosis would help in the way people treat my kid ? What sbout myself ? I feel... i have felt my depression truly darken lately and been thinking about a whole lot of things . Its SO HARD to grasp thie diagnosis. Almost... unbelievable. (But not)

I just feel alone and dont even know how to process this. What resources. I honestlt just wonder if i now have a chance to better help him with this diagnoses.

Hes intense. Definitely the best word to describe him. Intense. I love him so much but its been hell to raise this littke boy all on my own. I want him to benefit from this dx. Just. I dont know. I dont know.... is there anyone i can talk to
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2017 at 5:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 5:18 PM
There's a group called "Autism across the Spectrum" and another called "Raising Special Needs Kids" or something like that.
MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes please join our group Autism: Across the Spectrum and/or Autism: Different not Less. We have all walked in those shoes and had to handle our unacceptable family behavior a time or two and will be able to give you all the advice, tips and information you could possibly need including the support, understanding and shoulders to cry on. ((HUGS)) We will get through this together!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 8:06 PM
I assume no father in the picture?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 8:08 PM
I think there's a group for this.
ShesSoUnusual
by Cat on Jul. 14, 2017 at 8:23 PM

I definitely found people are more tolerant once you throw that word at them. When my daughter was younger and before she could express her frustrations, she would scream. Most of the time I was able to get her distracted and calm her down, but overwhelming feelings are overwhelming feelings. I would get the nastiest look until I said she was Autistic. Then it's always the same. "Ohhhhhh...ok then." 

MomLeslieM
by Member on Jul. 17, 2017 at 4:40 PM

A diganosis will help and as you begin to process it all you'll see that also.  The biggest thing for you to remember right now is he's still the same kid you loved (and sometimes hated!) before the diagnosis, this just puts a name to his behaviors.  It takes time to accept and honestly, some people never will or at least will still tell you you're doing things wrong, be rude to him and just plain annoy you - and him!  And sadly...some of those people will still be those who you feel should be the most accepting - like extended family.  My son is now 21 and was diagnosed w/ asperger's at 9 1/2.  Has it helped us? YES!!  He's benefited from some services and having an answer has helped me.  But...there' still ignorant people out there too. 

I can tell you we're all here for you and there's lots of other support groups on facebook and in real lief too.  Hang in there and post anytime!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 9:03 AM
No. Hes dead. I wish he knew iwonder every day what hed think of this

Quoting Anonymous 3: I assume no father in the picture?
Sailor.Moon.Mom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2017 at 9:19 AM
No autism with my dd but she has severe ADHD and a rare genetic disorder ( where the ADHD comes in) and I have felt the same way over the years. I have battled many issues from friends and family over my dds behaviour. She's only 5.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2017 at 9:36 AM
Thanks. Sometimes its just like.... i dont know. On one hand i am not shocked. On the other hand i still have no idea how to process this. Where to start. I feel like the school is laughing at me always. And i know for fact some are and do. I dont want to go back to these iep meeting all over again. Whats the point. They clearly do not care. And now we have another diagnoses i fear they will take me even less seriously.
Can i bring anyone i want at all. My best friend ? Shes mouthy and not afraid to get things done. Maybe i can bring her and feel less anxious about it all.
I hate this whole thing. It really hasnt made anything easier yet. Just more complicated.

Quoting MomLeslieM:

A diganosis will help and as you begin to process it all you'll see that also.  The biggest thing for you to remember right now is he's still the same kid you loved (and sometimes hated!) before the diagnosis, this just puts a name to his behaviors.  It takes time to accept and honestly, some people never will or at least will still tell you you're doing things wrong, be rude to him and just plain annoy you - and him!  And sadly...some of those people will still be those who you feel should be the most accepting - like extended family.  My son is now 21 and was diagnosed w/ asperger's at 9 1/2.  Has it helped us? YES!!  He's benefited from some services and having an answer has helped me.  But...there' still ignorant people out there too. 

I can tell you we're all here for you and there's lots of other support groups on facebook and in real lief too.  Hang in there and post anytime!

MomLeslieM
by Member on Jul. 19, 2017 at 7:06 PM

GO BACK AND FIGHT FOR HIM!  And YES you CAN BRING ANYONE YOU WANT so bring that mouthy best friend with you!!!!!!!!!!!  :-D   It is definitely more complicated at first but as you begin to find out what is available in your state for autism resources it does get easier.  What state are you in?

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thanks. Sometimes its just like.... i dont know. On one hand i am not shocked. On the other hand i still have no idea how to process this. Where to start. I feel like the school is laughing at me always. And i know for fact some are and do. I dont want to go back to these iep meeting all over again. Whats the point. They clearly do not care. And now we have another diagnoses i fear they will take me even less seriously. Can i bring anyone i want at all. My best friend ? Shes mouthy and not afraid to get things done. Maybe i can bring her and feel less anxious about it all. I hate this whole thing. It really hasnt made anything easier yet. Just more complicated.
Quoting MomLeslieM:

A diganosis will help and as you begin to process it all you'll see that also.  The biggest thing for you to remember right now is he's still the same kid you loved (and sometimes hated!) before the diagnosis, this just puts a name to his behaviors.  It takes time to accept and honestly, some people never will or at least will still tell you you're doing things wrong, be rude to him and just plain annoy you - and him!  And sadly...some of those people will still be those who you feel should be the most accepting - like extended family.  My son is now 21 and was diagnosed w/ asperger's at 9 1/2.  Has it helped us? YES!!  He's benefited from some services and having an answer has helped me.  But...there' still ignorant people out there too. 

I can tell you we're all here for you and there's lots of other support groups on facebook and in real lief too.  Hang in there and post anytime!


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