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Is this any of our business?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 29 Replies
I am a bartender/server at a mom and pop cafe in a pretty small town. We have a customer who has been coming in for years. Not an every day regular, but someone who is known. In the last year or so he's been coming around more. At first he seemed a little off. Asking my name a lot. Every time he came in. And just other small things he seemed to be forgetting.

After a couple months it became obvious that he was suffering from the earlyish stages of dementia. And recently it's gotten worse. He's very confused most of the time. He frequently eats 2 or 3 meals a day there. So we see him a lot. He has trouble naming the foods he wants. He's constantly losing stuff. 2 months ago he left his jacket with $600 in cash at the restaurant for days and had no idea it was there until I found it. I don't even think he knew he lost it. He wears 2 watches and carries around calendars and notes, trying to remember stuff I think. He often gets angry lately when he's lost something and thinks we have it.

No one minds him coming in. He's generally nice and we are happy to help him order and whatever else he needs.

The catch? He's still driving. And he lives alone. In a remote area. No one to keep tabs on him, or get him to a dr to get help. Or tell the dmv that he needs to stop driving.

What do you think we should do? Call someone? Who would we call? His son lives in a different state and when in a few weeks ago pretty much refused to give us his phone number.

What would you do here? Is it or business?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Saphira1207
by Platinum Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:53 PM
3 moms liked this

Your local social services office should have an Adult Protective unit.  Call them.

Also, the Office for the Aging might have some good ideas.  They're usually a state agency so look on your states website and find their directory.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. That was what I was thinking. Call adult protective services.

I have 2 bosses. One thinks we should call, one thinks it's none of our business. So I'm trying to see what others think. Seems like our business

Quoting Saphira1207:

Your local social services office should have an Adult Protective unit.  Call them.

Also, the Office for the Aging might have some good ideas.  They're usually a state agency so look on your states website and find their directory.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:56 PM
I agree with the first poster. Call adult protective services. You can google area agency on aging for the county he lives in and/or the ombudsman. Either of those can help you to help him.
mama_danetta
by She's so heavy on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:58 PM
I don't think it would be out of order for you to call APS and express concern.
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:58 PM
This.

Quoting Saphira1207:

Your local social services office should have an Adult Protective unit.  Call them.

Also, the Office for the Aging might have some good ideas.  They're usually a state agency so look on your states website and find their directory.

Southern_Song
by Jo on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:58 PM
My opinion..no.
Maevelyn
by Platinum Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:00 PM
3 moms liked this
He is a human person who is rappidly losing his ability to care for himself. As another adult human in the position to provide actual aid it is your business.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you. That was what I was thinking. Call adult protective services.

I have 2 bosses. One thinks we should call, one thinks it's none of our business. So I'm trying to see what others think. Seems like our business

Quoting Saphira1207:

Your local social services office should have an Adult Protective unit.  Call them.

Also, the Office for the Aging might have some good ideas.  They're usually a state agency so look on your states website and find their directory.

ShaMac
by Ruby Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Agreed. The police will do a wellness check if there is concern I think.

Quoting Saphira1207:

Your local social services office should have an Adult Protective unit.  Call them.

Also, the Office for the Aging might have some good ideas.  They're usually a state agency so look on your states website and find their directory.

marmie41
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:04 PM
If he is well know in the area, a ember of the community mY know information regarding his son. I would make an attempt to if there was someone.
ilovemykids323
by Emerald Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:04 PM

I think you'd call Adult protective services... if you are concerned about him that's what i'd do.

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