Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I made mil cry :/

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 140 Replies
Mil is taking our youngest 2 for the weekend. She takes them every once in a while. She says girls are easy. So she only takes the girls.

Thing is, DH and I adopted twin boys who are now 10 yrs old. Mil has known them since they were toddlers. They were wild little guys. But they're 10 now and the calmest, most well behaved boys you'll ever meet. Mil has never taken them for a night. They ask and she always says "One day" but that day never comes.

Yesterday, ds asked me when he can have a turn sleeping there. I told him I don't know. Dd4 told him that it's because grandmas house is only for girls. That grandma doesn't like having boys over so that's why he can't sleep there.

Today I was running an errand alone with mil and I told her about this conversation. She defended her choice not to have the boys sleep over because they're boys and active and her DH isn't a fan of boys so he won't help her at all. I explained that not only are they older than the girls, they can take care of themselves. They may have been a touch wild at 2, but, that was a loooong time ago. You can't hold it against them forever. But ultimately, it's your choice and you are cultivating the relationship you have with your grandchildren.

She broke down and cried. Not about how she feels badly for the boys. But about all of the current dramas of her life. I tried to be empathetic. I really did. I patted her shoulder for a second lol but I honestly had to bite my tongue.

DH had told me that he was going to tell her that if she ever wants to have the girls for the night again, then she has to take the boys first next time. I told him I don't want to give ultimatums. I never do that. But in this case, I may have to let him lay one down.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:01 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:01 PM
6 moms liked this
I wouldn't have felt sorry for her at all. How manipulative.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:01 PM
8 moms liked this
She doesn't want them over because they're ADOPTED!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:01 PM
47 moms liked this
Um, FIL is kinda coming off as a kiddy diddler here.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:03 PM
I know, right? I'm the most empathetic person you'd meet and I had to bite my tongue hard trying not to flip on her ass. So annoyed.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I wouldn't have felt sorry for her at all. How manipulative.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:04 PM
6 moms liked this
So she plays favorites.

Why do you allow this? If the boys aren't included then nobody goes.
MissTuree
by Platinum Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:04 PM
I don't mess with favoritism. She's either fair or she goes. I would say the same thing to my own mother.
VegetaPrincess
by Platinum Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:05 PM
2 moms liked this

That's really troubling. I mean, your four year old already sees that the boys aren't really family to her grandmother. Is that a sentiment you want to condone in your family?

HOT4TCHR
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah...what's the story with her husband?


Don't text while driving.

---Janice---

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:06 PM
Fil is holding a grudge on the boys because when they were 2 one of them threw a baseball and broke a basement window of the "flood house" (basically, his old house flooded in the 90's so he built a new house on his property. The old one still sits there) since then, he has had little to nothing to do with the boys. When they're around, he avoids them like the plague.

Quoting Anonymous 4: Um, FIL is kinda coming off as a kiddy diddler here.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)