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Update Sorry but your part of the summer is over

Posted by Anonymous
  • 231 Replies
1 mom liked this
My ex's wife is pregnant and on bedrest in the hospital. She has two kids who are three and five from a previous relationship. My sixteen-year-old daughter has been spending most of her summer visitation with her dad taking care of these two kids while her step mom is in the hospital and he is at work. He lives out of state so he gets her from the very beginning of the summer until Band Camp starts. In this case bands Camp starts on Wednesday and will continue until about a week and a half before school starts. It is in the court order that she is allowed to do Bandcamp but instead of sending her a week after school gets out like I used to do I have to send her as soon as practical when school gets out. This year I actually sent her the very day after the last day of school. So he's really only missing about a week total of his original court-ordered time. She is supposed to be getting on a plane tomorrow morning and flying home.

My daughter called me in tears this morning and told me that her dad said that she can't leave "early" because he cannot take the extra time off of work and he needs her to be there for the next 3 weeks to watch the younger kids. He said they can't afford to hire anybody. I explained to her that she's not actually leaving early anymore because this is in the court order. It changed when she started going to high school, two years ago because of the requirement for band camp. She was really upset because if you don't go to band camp you actually cannot be in marching band for the year. I told her not to worry. She told me that her dad will not drive her to the airport and I told her not to worry that if I have to I will call her a cab to take her to the airport. In fact I have since already called a cab to have her picked up. They actually only live about 20 minutes from the airport so it won't be a long cab ride. I don't want to worry about waiting until it's too late to get a cab when he decides he's not going to take her.

I guess after we got off the phone she told her dad that she would be going and that I explained that he doesn't really have a choice in the matter. He called me saying that he can't send her home that they don't have a choice that the kids can't come to the hospital and stay with his wife and he can't take the time off work and they can't hire anybody. I told him I'm sorry but that's not daughter's job. As it is I really didn't appreciate the fact that she had to be the built-in babysitter this entire time but I understood and so did my daughter that it was special circumstances and so we went along with it. But I'm not going to make her miss out on marching band which she enjoys to deal with somebody else's problem. He told me that if she leaves his two step kids home alone and goes to the airport he will press charges for child endangerment. I told him that if he leaves them with her knowing that she has to get on the plane, I'll call Child Protective Services in their area explain the situation and they'll come get the kids and she'll go to her plane. It makes me so mad that he thought that he was going to have her back against the wall by just leaving her with the kids so that she wouldn't be able to leave. Thankfully her plane doesn't take off until 11 a.m. and he leaves for work at 5 a.m. So if he leaves for work there will be plenty of time to have somebody come out there and get the kids and her to still make her plane.


So I see there's a lot of request for an update so I figured I would go ahead and update. She is home safe and sound. I did not have to go get her but she was crying on the phone to me last night because my ex told her that if he doesn't show up to work tomorrow he might lose his job. He even tried guilting her saying that she's putting a lot of stress on her stepmom and this is the last thing she needs and that she needs to be responsible and stay and help. I think it's interesting that he's lecturing her about being responsible. But I told her not to worry about it that she'll come home and we'll be fine. She is so upset with her dad that she says she doesn't even want anything to do with him right now. I feel bad that she was even asked to make a decision like this. The fact of the matter is it's really not even her choice if she stays anyway. Officially it's my choice and I would not have made her stay because I know she didn't really want to.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:42 PM
by Ange on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:43 PM
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Her stepmother's kids aren't her problem.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:45 PM
I agree. Even if they were her father's kids they still wouldn't be her problem. I think it was very generous of her to be willing to watch these kids all summer. She's not gotten any alone time with her dad because any time they go anywhere they have to bring the other kids along. And of course he's spending quite a lot of time going to the hospital though at least he usually brings the younger kids so my daughter can have a break.

Quoting angela.barlow: Her stepmother's kids aren't her problem.
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:46 PM
Holy moly
by Summer&Lucille on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:46 PM
4 moms liked this
Smh I'm all about family helping family, but he is just wrong. He should be proud of her, she has helped and done what she can. It's in his hands now

Doesn't your ex or his wife have any family?
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:46 PM
8 moms liked this

cue all the 'what a shitty kid to leave her dad in that situation cause fammilly' replies..

by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:47 PM
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Does his insurance not have child care coverage for situations like this?

Where is the BD for those kids?

by Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:48 PM
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Holy crap this is some drama, he has no right to do that to his daughter.  Hopefully dd is able to leave with no problems, I'm scare for her, keep us updated.

by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:49 PM
20 moms liked this
After he threatened to press charges against her I'd never send her back there.
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 2:49 PM
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Call your lawyer. I'd try to bring her home now.
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