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Controlling money

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 41 Replies
Do you and your SO/DH discuss how you will spend money. Like big purchases vs small ones?

How much can you spend without discussing? What happens when you disagree?

I was just told my husband is controlling because I want to spend $25,000 on a pool but he says no. How can he say no, its your money too?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:23 AM
We don't discuss small purchases but a pool would be something to discuss since it's his money too. $25,000 is on the low end though if you're building an in-ground pool.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:24 AM
We discuss any purchase over like $50 for a single item, and we always know what the other person is purchasing, even if we don't "discuss it."
romalove
by SakePrincess on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:26 AM

Every couple is different, I guess.

We "discuss" big things but whatever I think is best is what we do.  My husband is essentially disinterested in bill paying and how much things cost, etc.  He's always just put his money directly into the bank and I pay everything and make all financial decisions.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this
We each have our own checking accounts. We also have a joint account for normal household and kids expenses. We each put X amount in there each paycheck and both spend on the household and kids as we choose. We also put X amount in the savings each month for large items such as family trips, major car repairs, a new car, large appliances, etc.... and we always talk with each other about this purchases.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:30 AM
I would think building a pool goes beyond just controlling money. That is definitely something that requires the consent of both partners.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:30 AM
Really big purchases we discuss like a pool, car, etc.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:30 AM
I don't think him saying no to a pool makes him controlling at all. That is a lot of money and you both should agree.
caustinb
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:32 AM
$25k would require agreement. Our rule is no financing things without agreement, and no pulling from long term savings. Checking account money is fair game.
hotspice58
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:33 AM

$25000 would be an amount to talk about.

Punky_1981
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 9:34 AM

We don't discuss small things. Big things we would talk about. Even though we have the money, I don't think my husband would want to spend that much on a pool that we would only use a few times a year. We live in Wisconsin, so even summer here isn't hot that often. 

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