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I'm harming my child?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

by not dating and showing him "proper" relationships. my co worker thought she would chime in today and say that im harming my ds by not showing how a proper relationship works. reason? because I haven't dated at all since I left his father when I was pregnant with him. he just turned 6. I have a group of close friends but I'm not interested in dating.

I never really was honestly, my ex's were trial things if im being completely honest, I just wanted to see if I liked it and I didn't...idk. am I really hurting him by not dating? I don't think so but maybe you ladies will give me a different perspective?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:23 PM
I think you're fine.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:25 PM
1 mom liked this
You're fine. It would be more harming to have guys come in and out of his life.
blondieinva80
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:26 PM
I havent dated since I left my son's father when I was pregnant with him 5 years ago. All of my tine,energy, and money go into giving my son the love and attention he needs. I have no interest in dating,at all. He sees what a loving relationship is thru my parents and my bro and sil.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:28 PM

I disagree with your coworker. I think you're doing it the right way. Too many women jump from guy to guy and bring their herd of kids to live with the new dude. That's gross to me. Is your coworker one of those? You sound like you have your shit together. 

NutraNut17
by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:31 PM

sidesplittinglaughter


You're co worker is an Idiot, with a capital I!!!

I haven't dated in 13 years.  My kids are grown or nearly grown and perfectly fine.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:36 PM
I think she's married honestly.

And I would like to think so but I see people my age more accomplished then me lol

Quoting Anonymous 4:

I disagree with your coworker. I think you're doing it the right way. Too many women jump from guy to guy and bring their herd of kids to live with the new dude. That's gross to me. Is your coworker one of those? You sound like you have your shit together. 

pinkdragon36
by No on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:36 PM
I think more harm would come from having severak guys in and out. I was single for eight years and people were always saying they need a man.i was demasculating my boys.i laughed and moved on.
livinlife1622
by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:37 PM

Don't worry, no matter what you do or don't do someone will tell you you're doing it wrong.  My son's father died when he was 3 months old and I didn't have any one around my son until my husband and he was about 5 when they met.  I am glad that I found a decent man to be my son's father because he doesn't have a dad. My friend doesn't date at all and her daughter is 7 now.  Just like I am glad I made the choice I did for my family, she is glad she made the choice she did for hers. Being in no relationship is WAY better than being in the wrong one. I believe this is true for the kids as well as the adults involved. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:38 PM

I do think that it's good for children to see healthy relationships, yes.

If you aren't read/don't want a relationship, that's one thing. You probably wouldn't have a happy, healthy relationship if you have no interest in pursuing one. However, I think the suggestion that single moms shouldn't date until their children are out of the house is absolutely backwards and stupid. It doesn't matter if it's the child's biological father, being raised in a house where two adults are modeling a health relationship IS good for children. Period.

olivejuice2
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:42 PM
From what I've read, it's important for your child to have at least one close relationship with an adult male, but it's not important that the adult male is a romantic interest of yours. It's just as beneficial for him to be close to a grandfather, uncle, or some other mentor.
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