• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What Would You Say to Nephew???

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 140 Replies
1 mom liked this
I am estranged from my malignant narcissist mother, and enabling father and siblings. They all watched my mother abuse me and supported her and scapegoated me. :(

My 15 year old nephew, who I haven't seen since he was a toddler, reached out to my kids on FB. I'm not on FB. He's been asking a lot of questions about me and complaining he has no normal relatives. He asked my kids for my email. I just received an email from him. He tells me about his interests and hobbies and asks about my life. I want to respond, but part of me feels like I'm opening Pandoras Box. I want nothing to do w his mother or my other toxic family members. Part of me is worried this is a ploy to get me back with the family, or my sister or mother put him up to it. That will NEVER happen! However, my kids don't get that vibe from my nephew.

I've been through a lot of therapy and I'm in a good place emotionally. How would you handle this?

Please pray for me. I want to respond to my nephew. I would feel like a coward if I didn't. He might need me. He might be being abused and the family Scapegoat like I was.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 12, 2017 at 10:58 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:03 PM

No idea...sorry..tread carefully at the very least. I wouldn't give him details about why you don't communicate with relatives..til he's at least 18.

If you still see a therapist, maybe ask him/her...

contrarymary7
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this

See what your therapist says...

CrystalSapphire
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:03 PM
5 moms liked this
I think you should talk to him. He may be feeling the way you did growing up.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:05 PM
That's what I'm wondering.

Quoting CrystalSapphire: I think you should talk to him. He may be feeling the way you did growing up.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:06 PM
I haven't been in therapy in years, and my therapist retired and left the state. :(

Quoting contrarymary7:

See what your therapist says...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I would talk with him. Start out small chit chat. He maybe having some of the same feelings you did growing up.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:08 PM
Yes, that's what I'm worried about. I wish he was 18.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I would talk with him. Start out small chit chat. He maybe having some of the same feelings you did growing up.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:10 PM
She retired and left the state. :( I haven't been in therapy for awhile.



Quoting contrarymary7:

See what your therapist says...

Mommytoobeagain
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with the other responders. Talk to your therapist, don't give too much personal info and try to find out if maybe he's being abused. That could be why he's reaching out.
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:12 PM
3 moms liked this
You're in a tough spot . I think I would respond to him. I would not give out any personal information. Keep it light. See if he continues to email. If he does then I woukd be honest with him. That you are not interested in hearing about his mom , his grands, his aunts and uncles. Make sure you use " his" . I would tell him that you will continue to respond to him and see IF you can build a relationship, as long as he respects your wishes not to " go there "
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)