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Can a marriage work if extended family doesn't like a spouse?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh's family doesn't like me. They never have. But it's just gotten worse over the years. For the longest time I kept my mouth shut. The fat comments when we're at a restaurant with a table full of people. (5'3 120 pounds). The parenting comments even telling my kids they should be spanked for things like not wanting to eat dinner at a get together. The list goes on. But Bil planned a guys week away over my birthday and booked DH's ticket without one word. I was annoyed and said something. After dh asked him to change his flight to leave a day early. He said no absolutely not. That lead to me getting text after text about how I'm a horrible person and wife and I need to be medicated if I can't spend a week without my husband. That caused a big issue for dh and I bc dh said nothing said it was between them and me not him.
Then I walk in on BIL with another woman at their kids birthday party. I said nothing bc I didn't know the facts. But told dh until I heard from him and an apology for not locking the damn door or even closing the door for that matter and a kid could have walked in! I guess dh told him a was uncomfortable that I saw him and her. It lead to multiple things being said about me mainly I'm a prude and want to tell everyone what to do. Which is weird bc I've never even made plans with them they always do first and we do whatever.
Anyway they hate I stay at home say I'm a lazy gold digger. Even though dh told them it was more his idea. The list goes on and on. But I have never once said anything mean or negative out of nowhere. I simply stand up for myself if I'm contacted first.
Dh says they love me would never did respect me out of respect for him, he says he feels I cause drama and if I can't find a way to be civil bc he won't stop seeing them bc of me it's time for a divorce!
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:41 PM
Replies (51-55):
by Anonymous 20 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 11:42 AM

You should get a job so they can shut up about that issue even it's just a part-time job.  Nothing wrong in preparing yourself in case something happens.

by Beamfloorbars on Aug. 13, 2017 at 11:52 AM
Me too. At most I have gotten to 122. I am not fat lol

Quoting Anonymous 15: Wait how are you fat at 5'3'' 120lbs? I'm 5'3'' and I'm between 117-120 and I'm skinny as hell.?
by Anonymous 21 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 11:56 AM
Your husband is a asshole. I would beat him to the punch and see a lawyer on Monday and file.

My inlaws hate me but my husband stands up for me. He used to not and it took me kicking him out because I was so sick of it for him to realize.
by Metal Awareness on Aug. 13, 2017 at 12:19 PM
Of course it can, I chose my husband, not my family. And if my family doesn't respect my decision and respect my husband, then they don't need to be a part of our lives.
by Anonymous 22 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 12:29 PM
This. You guys have 3 options. 1) he stands up for you and his family stops this crap. 2) he cuts his family off completely. Or 3) you get a divorce. My parents hated my husband for the longest time (they've finally come around) but they never said anything mean to him and when they would say something to me in private I always stood up for my husband and let them know that that kind of talk would not be tolerated.

Quoting GentleHeartsPA: A marriage only lasts with a toxic family if the husband/wife of that family sticks up for their partner...
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