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Adopting through fostercare

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2017 at 3:45 AM
  • 69 Replies
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If you adopted through fostercare, what was the homestudy like? How long did the entore process take? I'm in IL, and this is something my husband and I are persuing after our house is fully remodeled. 

by on Aug. 13, 2017 at 3:45 AM
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merrysgirls
by Lame on Aug. 13, 2017 at 3:52 AM
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It wasn't too bad. Just took a few hours.
AnotherKim
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 3:53 AM
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We aren't adopting, but we are foster parents. Everyone in our home over the age of 18 had to be fingerprinted. There were background reports on all of us, and we had to get refrences. Our children were also interviewed, both the ones living with us, and the ones out of our home.We went through 8 weeks of training, and have on-going trainings every year. We are inspected by our agency monthly, wether we have kids or not.

Quakercaoimhe
by Esperantisto on Aug. 13, 2017 at 3:56 AM

I'm glad they're thorough. Do you mind if I ask what state you're in? 

Quoting AnotherKim:

We aren't adopting, but we are foster parents. Everyone in our home over the age of 18 had to be fingerprinted. There were background reports on all of us, and we had to get refrences. Our children were also interviewed, both the ones living with us, and the ones out of our home.We went through 8 weeks of training, and have on-going trainings every year. We are inspected by our agency monthly, wether we have kids or not.


AnotherKim
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 3:59 AM
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Arizona.

Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

I'm glad they're thorough. Do you mind if I ask what state you're in? 

Quoting AnotherKim:

We aren't adopting, but we are foster parents. Everyone in our home over the age of 18 had to be fingerprinted. There were background reports on all of us, and we had to get refrences. Our children were also interviewed, both the ones living with us, and the ones out of our home.We went through 8 weeks of training, and have on-going trainings every year. We are inspected by our agency monthly, wether we have kids or not.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 4:03 AM
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I was a foster kid and it pisses me off that people go into being foster parents with the intent of adopting kids who are often snatched from their parents for poor reasons. so tired of people looking for a cheap way to snatch other people's babies.

social workers get financial incentives to kidnap children for people like you to steal.
MissTuree
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 4:07 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry that this is your story. There are many stories however that it was a complete blessing for a child to be adopted by their foster parents. Every situation is different. I do hope that people who are looking to adopt do so in the best interest of the child, and not themselves, meaning that if they see a parent/s in the picture trying to pull through for their children they aid that rather than hinder it selfishly.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a foster kid and it pisses me off that people go into being foster parents with the intent of adopting kids who are often snatched from their parents for poor reasons. so tired of people looking for a cheap way to snatch other people's babies.

social workers get financial incentives to kidnap children for people like you to steal.
Quakercaoimhe
by Esperantisto on Aug. 13, 2017 at 4:14 AM
3 moms liked this

I am so, so sorry for everything that you have been thorugh. I can't imagine how you must have suffered. 

I agree that the system is inherently flawed. I am not going to tell you that you're wrong. There are instances of what can only be described as legal kidnapping, the majority of which affects the poor, and people of colour. That said, if we adopt a child that has already been legally severed, at least that child has a home and will not end up in an ill funded group home, or age out of the system. It may not make any difference to you, but we are not adopting babies. We are seeking an older sibling group and we are open to disabled children.  We hope to have real and honest conversations with said child(ren) and hep them cope with any trauma that may be afflicting them 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a foster kid and it pisses me off that people go into being foster parents with the intent of adopting kids who are often snatched from their parents for poor reasons. so tired of people looking for a cheap way to snatch other people's babies. social workers get financial incentives to kidnap children for people like you to steal.


MissTuree
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 4:18 AM
I am thinking in the next 10 years of doing the same as you and 100% am on board with what you said. I have no interest in a child under 5, and will gladly help s child transition back to their parent, but if I can save one child from living their entire childhood in the system I will gladly do so.

Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

I am so, so sorry for everything that you have been thorugh. I can't imagine how you must have suffered. I agree that the system is inherently flawed. I am not going to tell you that you're wrong. There are instances of what can only be described as legal kidnapping, the majority of which affects the poor, and people of colour. That said, if we adopt a child that has already been legally severed, at least that child has a home and will not end up in an ill funded group home, or age out of the system. It may not make any difference to you, but we are not adopting babies. We are seeking an older sibling group and we are open to disabled children.  We hope to have real and honest conversations with said child(ren) and hep them cope with any trauma that may be afflicting them 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a foster kid and it pisses me off that people go into being foster parents with the intent of adopting kids who are often snatched from their parents for poor reasons. so tired of people looking for a cheap way to snatch other people's babies.

social workers get financial incentives to kidnap children for people like you to steal.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 4:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. Im not saying no one should ever adopt through foster care but that it should NOT be your reason for going into it. the goal is reunification and I find it hard to accpet that (often desperate) people wanting to adopt will not interfere or hinder reunification. these social workers are more likely to push for parental rights being terminated if they know a family is dying to adopt their foster kid.

I have my own horror story. My sister and I were a package deal. some family wanted to adopt 1 little girl through FC, they wanted my little sister, but grudginly accepted us both. turns out evil foster mom would lie and say I tried to strangle my sis to death in order to get me removed and seperated from my sister. my sister even said I didnt do it but they didnt believe her. I was put in a group home for troubled kids, around a bunch of gangmember youths. my sister was later raped there by the parent's teenage bio son.

yeah, I hate the system and see through people right away. I hate it when people act like all foster parents are selfless heroes when many if not MORE are worse than the bio parents the kids were taken from.

Quoting MissTuree: I'm so sorry that this is your story. There are many stories however that it was a complete blessing for a child to be adopted by their foster parents. Every situation is different. I do hope that people who are looking to adopt do so in the best interest of the child, and not themselves, meaning that if they see a parent/s in the picture trying to pull through for their children they aid that rather than hinder it selfishly.
Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a foster kid and it pisses me off that people go into being foster parents with the intent of adopting kids who are often snatched from their parents for poor reasons. so tired of people looking for a cheap way to snatch other people's babies.



social workers get financial incentives to kidnap children for people like you to steal.

Quakercaoimhe
by Esperantisto on Aug. 13, 2017 at 4:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I want to restate for absolute clarity - We want to adopt from foster care, meaning that before we've ever had said child(ren) a judge has already made the decision to terminate parental rights. If we were placed with a child(ren) that was not legally free, we would in no way pressure our caseworker. The goal of reunification is extremely important to me. However, so is making sure that a legally free child gets into a family and is not parented by the state in a situation much like what you described. 

Fucking hell. Your story is so terrible and grim. I am so terribly sorry. Are you recieing any sort of counseling for dealing with that?

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you. Im not saying no one should ever adopt through foster care but that it should NOT be your reason for going into it. the goal is reunification and I find it hard to accpet that (often desperate) people wanting to adopt will not interfere or hinder reunification. these social workers are more likely to push for parental rights being terminated if they know a family is dying to adopt their foster kid. I have my own horror story. My sister and I were a package deal. some family wanted to adopt 1 little girl through FC, they wanted my little sister, but grudginly accepted us both. turns out evil foster mom would lie and say I tried to strangle my sis to death in order to get me removed and seperated from my sister. my sister even said I didnt do it but they didnt believe her. I was put in a group home for troubled kids, around a bunch of gangmember youths. my sister was later raped there by the parent's teenage bio son. yeah, I hate the system and see through people right away. I hate it when people act like all foster parents are selfless heroes when many if not MORE are worse than the bio parents the kids were taken from.
Quoting MissTuree: I'm so sorry that this is your story. There are many stories however that it was a complete blessing for a child to be adopted by their foster parents. Every situation is different. I do hope that people who are looking to adopt do so in the best interest of the child, and not themselves, meaning that if they see a parent/s in the picture trying to pull through for their children they aid that rather than hinder it selfishly.
Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a foster kid and it pisses me off that people go into being foster parents with the intent of adopting kids who are often snatched from their parents for poor reasons. so tired of people looking for a cheap way to snatch other people's babies. social workers get financial incentives to kidnap children for people like you to steal.


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