Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it still CIO if you are touching and interacting with your baby, but you don't pick him up?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 149 Replies
In that case he doesn't learn that no one will come if he cries, right? I know that's the negative thing about CIO.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:24 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Teeshann
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
How horrible. So he is learning that even if mom is right there she will just ignore him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:34 AM
I can't be ignoring him if I'm touching him and interacting with him, though. Right? Just not picking him up.

Quoting Teeshann: How horrible. So he is learning that even if mom is right there she will just ignore him.
SueWanda
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:35 AM

Is he crying? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:38 AM
Yeah, I finished feeding him at 3:30, but he cried soon after I put him down and kept crying until 6:00 when I had to start feeding him again. I changed him while he was crying one and swaddled him, moved him around in case he had gas. Held his pacifier in his mouth to keep it from falling out, etc. He's not crying now, and I suspect he's not really still eating but is just using me as a pacifier, but I don't take him off until he breaks his latch on his own.

Quoting SueWanda:

Is he crying? 

SueWanda
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:42 AM

He' snot using you as a pacifier.  A pacifier is a fake you.  non-nutritive sucking helps with a variety of development.

I know babies are hard, but making the baby cry until he gives up is not the same as teaching the baby to self-soothe.  very little ones need to be held.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yeah, I finished feeding him at 3:30, but he cried soon after I put him down and kept crying until 6:00 when I had to start feeding him again. He's not crying now, and I suspect he's not really still eating but is just using me as a pacifier, but I don't take him off until he breaks his latch on his own.
Quoting SueWanda:

Is he crying? 


AppleBlossom16
by Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:44 AM
How old is he? You cant leave your baby to cry for 3 hours! Maybe he was still hungry? Some breastfed babies feel constantly in the early days.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yeah, I finished feeding him at 3:30, but he cried soon after I put him down and kept crying until 6:00 when I had to start feeding him again. I changed him while he was crying one and swaddled him, moved him around in case he had gas. Held his pacifier in his mouth to keep it from falling out, etc. He's not crying now, and I suspect he's not really still eating but is just using me as a pacifier, but I don't take him off until he breaks his latch on his own.

Quoting SueWanda:

Is he crying? 

AppleBlossom16
by Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:44 AM
*feed

Quoting AppleBlossom16: How old is he? You cant leave your baby to cry for 3 hours! Maybe he was still hungry? Some breastfed babies feel constantly in the early days.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yeah, I finished feeding him at 3:30, but he cried soon after I put him down and kept crying until 6:00 when I had to start feeding him again. I changed him while he was crying one and swaddled him, moved him around in case he had gas. Held his pacifier in his mouth to keep it from falling out, etc. He's not crying now, and I suspect he's not really still eating but is just using me as a pacifier, but I don't take him off until he breaks his latch on his own.

Quoting SueWanda:

Is he crying? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:47 AM
If you are letting him cry (especially for three hours!) then yes, it's cio. Doesn't matter if you're there or not.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:47 AM
I think that is kinda cruel that he can see momma and knows she won't pick him up and hold him....and for nearly 3 hours? Yikes!
handy0318
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2017 at 9:49 AM

I've never been a fan of CIO...

Babies are not manipulative and they aren't trying to control anyone. They simply do not have those thought processes. What they have are actual needs that can only be expressed through crying. Crying should be responded to with attention and if the crying is unusual or if it's hard to tell why the baby is crying for such a long period of time, a trip to the doctor is warranted.


I do believe in learning self-soothing ... but not for infants. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)