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S/O. How much freedom does your 14 year old have?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 51 Replies
I don't allow my 14 year olds to just wander around town. (It's a city so way too big for all that noise)

I do drop them and let them go to the two amusement parks but they stay together.

I let them go around the mall on their own. I am there too.

I have let them go eat on their own while DH and I went to a different restaurant.

They can go to the movies on their own


I don't let them leave with anyone I don't know.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ladyvamp5489
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:14 AM

My 14 yr old rides the local bus to the pool and mall and all over town, we dont live in a huge city and the bus system is awesome. Most kids his age ride the busses. We dont have a car so they had to learn to use the bus. He even knows how to read the schedules and plan his own trip. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:20 AM
Odd is now 19 but she was babysitting overnight and for entire weekends ( her choice) and started working in her Uncles Restaurant after school at 14.5 years old
She took the City Bus to school, work, her babysitting jobs very frequently. The bus to her dads 1 town over.
Mdd is 15 and although is allowed the same freedom she is not the same personality type as her older sister. But she does work part time, but anxiety takes her so she does not take the City bus alone. That's her choice. She babysits overnight and goes to the mall and movies with friends, cousins.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't allow my 14 year olds to just wander around town. (It's a city so way too big for all that noise)

I do drop them and let them go to the two amusement parks but they stay together.

I let them go around the mall on their own. I am there too.

I have let them go eat on their own while DH and I went to a different restaurant.

They can go to the movies on their own


I don't let them leave with anyone I don't know.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:26 AM

I live in the suburbs and no bus system.  I'm okay with her going to the grocery store and restaurants within walking/biking distance.  I also let her and a friend walk around the small fair/mall/amusement park without me.  I generally have to be there because they are a longish drive to get there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:29 AM
We live about 8 miles away from anything except a gas station and a Subway. Also. No buses out here. So anywhere my kids want to go they have to have a ride.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I live in the suburbs and no bus system.  I'm okay with her going to the grocery store and restaurants within walking/biking distance.  I also let her and a friend walk around the small fair/mall/amusement park without me.  I generally have to be there because they are a longish drive to get there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:37 AM
I would say a lot. He has blocks worth of freedom, he can go anywhere, including walmart, cvs, etc.

I don't trust his friends to behave by themselves. They've proven they need a sitter.

We do have a bus stop that could take ds into the city- columbus ohio... but he isn't allowed to use for now.
Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Aug. 14, 2017 at 9:44 AM
3 moms liked this

At 14, my kids had a LOT of freedom.  We built up to it - after all at 14, they are 4 short years from moving away to college.

They could spend the night at friends houses - by high school years, I didn't know all the parents.  They could go to the mall (I would drop them off our bus system sucks), but I didn't stay with them.  They could go to movies with their friends - again, I didn't stay with them.  They went to after school extracurriculars - again, I didn't stay with them.

Sheltering a teen that age does no good.  They need to be able to try out freedom and make mistakes that can be helped by parents.  They need to be preparing to be on their own, making their own decisions.

myshoes
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2017 at 1:18 PM
We did what you said, OP. My kids did not have a curfew or "boundaries" (like an area they could just roam or hang out). Everything was situational. They would say "I am going to steal n shake with XYC, xxxx is driving, I'll text you." At 14 the driver was a parent. I'll text you means they will text when they pay the check and we will discuss if they are coming straight home or doing something else.
But it was all just dropping off and picking back up. We started leaving them at school things in 5th grade and sports around age 10. Movies-they went alone in 5th grade. They have never just gone to hang out at a park until they could drive themselves.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 14, 2017 at 1:21 PM
Mine won't have much when he's 14 because he's autistic and too trusting. I roamed the neighborhood because my mom was too busy talking care of my dying dad and working.
myshoes
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2017 at 1:22 PM
We live "close" to you. A suburb of Columbus but COTA is not close enough to walk to from our neighborhood.

Quoting Anonymous 4: I would say a lot. He has blocks worth of freedom, he can go anywhere, including walmart, cvs, etc.

I don't trust his friends to behave by themselves. They've proven they need a sitter.

We do have a bus stop that could take ds into the city- columbus ohio... but he isn't allowed to use for now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 14, 2017 at 1:30 PM
My 14 yeat old will be 15 friday. We live in bklyn ny. She can pretty much go where she wants for most areas of bklyn and parts of Manhattan. I just have to know where she is and with whom. She has a 10:30 summer curfew. She is however not allowed on the subway at night alone
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