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She used me as a reference and I gave the honest truth...even though it wasnt good

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 129 Replies
1 mom liked this

My SIL put me down as a reference for a job. I found out when I got the phone call asking me about her. What she was like, if I thought she was dependable, if I would hire her if I was looking for someone to fill the position. I answered honestly.

I told the truth on everything. I said I would not personally hire her for many reasons. That I dont think she is dependable (because she really isnt, she flakes on just about everything) 

She said she didnt get the job because of a refrence. She asked what I said. I told her I answered truthfully. I guess she thought I would just say she was the most amazing person on earth. I am not a liar. I am a very straight up person. She knows this. 

I also told her not to use me as a reference again. She said not to worry about it because she doesnt want a bitch like me speaking about her. 

I do run a business and I would never say great things about her that arent true just so she can get a job. She goes through jobs like crazy. She is not the kind of employee I would want and I doubt most would 

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
redbottoms
by Platinum Member on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:32 PM
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You should not agree to be a reference for someone if you can't say nice things. But sounds like she did not even bother to ask your permission first. Guess she learned her lesson. Your relationship with this SIL is dead. Plan accordingly for holidays and family get togethers etc
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:33 PM
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You should have told her you weren't comfortable being a reference when she first asked you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:34 PM

No she didnt. I would not have agreed. If she doesnt want to come for holidays/get togethers over this that is fine. It wont bother me any 

Quoting redbottoms: You should not agree to be a reference for someone if you can't say nice things. But sounds like she did not even bother to ask your permission first. Guess she learned her lesson. Your relationship with this SIL is dead. Plan accordingly for holidays and family get togethers etc


Cajunqueenslsg8
by Platinum Member on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:34 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't know if I could do this to family.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:34 PM

She didnt ask me. I would have told her no

Quoting Anonymous 2: You should have told her you weren't comfortable being a reference when she first asked you.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:35 PM

I couldnt just flat out lie, that isnt who I am 

Quoting Cajunqueenslsg8: I don't know if I could do this to family.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this
You could have said you didn't feel comfortable speaking about her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:37 PM
Why would she use you as a reference? Does she not know you?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I couldnt just flat out lie, that isnt who I am 

Quoting Cajunqueenslsg8: I don't know if I could do this to family.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:37 PM

My guess is a lot of people have said honest things that she didnt like 

Quoting Anonymous 3: Why would she use you as a reference? Does she not know you?
Quoting Anonymous 1:

I couldnt just flat out lie, that isnt who I am 

Quoting Cajunqueenslsg8: I don't know if I could do this to family.



Cajunqueenslsg8
by Platinum Member on Aug. 20, 2017 at 11:38 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm not usually a liar either. But, I'm not sure I would have handled it that way. I would feel extremely bad for keeping someone from getting a job.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I couldnt just flat out lie, that isnt who I am 

Quoting Cajunqueenslsg8: I don't know if I could do this to family.

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