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Visiting in laws

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
My husband's family lives in Canada, about a 6 hour drive from us. The past few years we have had different opinions about going there visit at Christmas. I have two older children, 17 and 15 that aren't his who are extremely uncomfortable when we are there. The last time we went at Christmas time the roads were awful and we spun a full circle on the highway and the bridges make me so uncomfortable going over in that weather. My husband knows that on top of those reasons I don't like going because it is seriously sitting at his parents house from 8:30 am to 6:00 pm with him and his parents switching from one war movie to another and no one interacting, the little kids are bored because there are really no toys or anything for them to play with and the older two have to sit in the living room the whole time. Anyway, last year my husband left at 9 am on Christmas morning to go there for 3 days, I stayed home with the kids which I was fine with. He is now talking about going at Christmas again and him taking the kids alone, which I'm not okay with. I see what goes on and that there is no interaction with the kids and even at home my husband doesn't wake up if the kids wake up at night, plus I would be worried the whole time about them getting in an accident. I could just go, but my older two aren't going to want to go Christmas day and I can't blame them and I'm not okay with leaving them at the holidays either, plus my kids would be split at the holidays and I don't like that. I sound selfish and like I don't care about him seeing his family but that isn't it, I just don't see why we can't visit when the weather is nice and the kids can play outside, if there was some bug family thing I would get it but it is just his parents and they just sit and watch tv. I've offered many times for his parents to come here(they don't mind driving in the weather) they visit about every 2 months but husband is making a big deal about going there. I'm just frustrated and venting and open to any suggestions that may make a compromise work
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 22, 2017 at 5:52 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 22, 2017 at 6:19 PM
Why don't you invite them to your house for Christmas?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 22, 2017 at 6:24 PM
I have but my husband is set that we should be going there, I've explained the many reasons why it is better for them to come here for Christmas but he doesn't seem to understand or care not.sure which

Quoting Anonymous 2: Why don't you invite them to your house for Christmas?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 22, 2017 at 6:29 PM
That sucks. You're between a rock and a hard place. How old are the younger kids?

I'll be honest, when I visit somewhere I know ds will be bored outta his mind, I throw the limited tablet/phone rules out the window. I've even taken his Xbox top a family members house bc I know nothing else goes on there. If I had to, I'd take a tv too. Lol idk if that's an option... but what a shitty way to spend the holidays, with no interaction. It's normal for them but from an outsider, that would suck for me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 22, 2017 at 8:07 PM
The younger kids are 5 and 3, we have ipads but that really only holds them so long,and with the older ones they have the Xbox but like I said we are pretty much limited to the living room so I can't really hook up another tv. It does suck and if I could figure out a way yo make it work for everyone I would but i don't think there is

Quoting Anonymous 3: That sucks. You're between a rock and a hard place. How old are the younger kids?

I'll be honest, when I visit somewhere I know ds will be bored outta his mind, I throw the limited tablet/phone rules out the window. I've even taken his Xbox top a family members house bc I know nothing else goes on there. If I had to, I'd take a tv too. Lol idk if that's an option... but what a shitty way to spend the holidays, with no interaction. It's normal for them but from an outsider, that would suck for me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 22, 2017 at 8:12 PM
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Tell him he owes you and the children this holiday because of all the times you've had miserable ones at his parents' home.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 22, 2017 at 9:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him that during Christmas you and your kids will not be visiting. Make an arrangement to visit them when it's nice and plan activities there to do with the kids that way no one is bored or uncomfortable.

Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Aug. 22, 2017 at 9:22 PM
Stay home. Invite them to join you. Do what is best for your family, not extended family.
xoch86
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2017 at 9:28 PM

I think you need to really sit down with your husband and talk about this.. him not caring isn't an option. He needs to care because it's Christmas.. why not talk to your inlaws, and encourage them to come.. that way it's their decision and not yours. I doubt he could tell them no if it seems them who say they want to come.


Sheila79
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2017 at 11:18 PM
Tell him to go and that's it. No one else but him wants to go so by all means, don't let the door hit you on the way out and you can be home with the kids. Easy as that. Never understand why make things difficult?
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