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Waiting to have kids until you can afford them?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 166 Replies
I've been reading some threads lately that have multiple comments stating you should not have kids unless you can afford them.

It got me thinking - what does this actually mean to people in real terms, and what kind of income are we talking about?  

I'm curious as to whether there are people that see kids of something as a luxury item, economically speaking, and where we draw the line as a society, in terms of folks that are never going to have the potential to be big wage earners and whether that negates their "right" (for want of a better term) to become parents.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Desiree` on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:22 AM
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Being able to fully support your family without assistance from the government or anyone else.....we had our first, realized we were in way over our heads, and waited ten years to have another.
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:24 AM

I had my MA degree and a career for several years already.   I was married to my dh who had a great job..   We could afford a child by the time we had dd at 32.   We never had financial issues because of it.   We absolutely did go through a lot of tough times over the years, but it was not because we made the irresponsible choice to have kids before we could afford them.   I had dd in 1997 and we made a combined income of 75k which was ok back then, not so great if it was today. 

by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:24 AM
1 mom liked this
We had a house for them to live in, health insurance, and a sufficient income to meet their NEEDS. We can afford a lot of wants, also, but there won't be Bentleys at their 16th birthday.
by *Claire-Bear* on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:26 AM
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It doesn't mean you have to make 6 or 7 figures annually.. it generally means that you have saved money for emergencies, you have insurance, get no assistance, and in a perfect world have a degree with some earning potential for all of life's curveballs..

We were married for 12 years before we had kids. We both had degrees, had a home, insurance, etc..


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

by Mrs. Annie Proffitt on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:29 AM
26 moms liked this

If I had waited to have kids until I could afford them by cafemom standards I would have never had kids and neither would 99% of the population.

by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:30 AM
I was a young and dumb Teenager when I had my oldest daughter. But I could always afford her. I worked as a Teen and still did during my pregnancy and after she was born. Her Father had a well paying full time job, he drove Transport. We owned our own cars and home. The only thing I couldn't afford was an education. It was mostly not having the time to get one.
by Ruby Member on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:31 AM
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We didn't wait until we could 'afford' them per se. We married young and our ourselves established with a home and goods stable jobs. Then we waited even longer because we wanted to be selfish for a while and enjoy ourselves travelling, and going out. It was 15 years into our marriage that we finally decided we have seen and done most of what we wanted to do and it was time to settle down. But by that time, with two professionals, making good money, with no kids, we doubled up on mortgage payments, and paid off our home and vehicles. I was 36 before I had my first child. Part of me regrets waiting so long. But part of me is relieved that we can give our children the lives we wanted to. So instead of what we would be paying in our mortgage we put into an educational account so they can have a brighter future should they choose higher education
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:31 AM
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I agree about waiting to have kids till you can afford them. What that means to me is some savings in the bank, health insurance, a steady job that makes enough to pay your bills, a place to live, a reliable vehicle or access to public transportation, furniture, room for a baby in your house.

If you don't have all that-you should NOT be having kids
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:31 AM
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We're much more capable of paying for a child now then we were 8 years ago making terrible money. It's called being responsible. It's not responsible to bring another life into the world when you need to rely on assistance to pay for them.

Also I get things happen (job loss, illness, high medical needs situations), but to intentionally have a kid when you're not able to afford your current lifestyle is irresponsible. You don't need to make 6 figures but you need to be able to support what you're bringing into the world.
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2017 at 7:32 AM
and yes, DH and I met my standards before having kids
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