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Have you adopted a child? If not, why not?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So many children need homes in this country.  Thousands and thousands and thousands. 

Have you adopted a child?  If not, why not?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 11, 2017 at 5:32 PM
Replies (341-342):
by Anonymous 140 on Sep. 20, 2017 at 7:22 AM
We would not be approved due to Dh's age and my health issues
by on Oct. 2, 2017 at 10:47 AM

I agree - there is some information that as adoptive parents we should be given, but remember that the information shared with either agencies, attorneys, or social services by biological parents is not always complete or accurate. Probably especially with mental health issues because it is such a stigma, and only fairly recently has been recognized as anything other than "crazy".

We are lucky, my sons' birth family when genetic diseases show up, the let us know. Their health history is pretty accurate - my daughter - well, like so many, adoptees, or children missing a parent, there are holes in her history. I have tracked down her family, but at this point will not be contacting them even for health information.

Any person (child/baby) can be born with a mental health issue - even from perfectly "normal" - if there such a thing - parents. Many mental illnesses they are learning are heriditary. Before I say this next thing PLEASE know if my kids are ever diagnosed with any mental illnesses we will support and love them any way we can - but we did walk away from a baby (we didn't match - someone sent us information for us to follow up on, we chose not too) whose bio-parents both suffered from mulitiple mental health issues. I often think about that baby and hope that the parents who adopted him/her had the where with all to handle any issues that came up - AND on the flip side, this child could be completely "normal" - would be about 16 now.......... And, I hope he/she is having an amazing life!

Quoting adopteeme:
Quoting andreamarie: Thank you for the condolences. They really were sweet people. The kind to give with out question and ask nothing in return. I am just giving my reasons. I have no control over what others do. Honestly after Sue and her husband were murdered and so many other adoption disasters , I honestly wish the kids were in group homes and cared for by a regulated censured and controlled staff. Siblings are separated and never see each other again. Too many kids grow up with the fantasy they were wanted and in for a huge let down. Most mothers who place a child have no intention of a later relationship. Too many secrets are kept from adoptive parents to make sure they adopt. There is just too much disfunction.
Quoting adopteeme:
Quoting andreamarie: Adoption itself is not for me for several reasons. I just mentioned the most common. My former teacher and her husband adopted a child they wanted to give a loving home too. He murdered them in their bed. They were professors at jones county junior college in Ellisville Mississippi. He even told some kids at church he was going to kill them. Monday morning George kept his word. He was 2 or 3 I believe when sir Carly and her husband adopted him. His history was kept secret. Therapy was tried for years. The kid gave me the creeps bad. When he was 13 he murdered them. A judge freed him at 18 and (gave him his share of the estate, according to the idiot judge) . Since he was a minor when he committed the murders. His sisters were thank God adults and married or he would have killed them too. He goal was to get his inheritance early. One of the daughters discovered the bodies when Dean Whitehead called to ask why her parents hadn't come in to work. No thanks. No adoptions in my house.
Quoting Anonymous 132:
Quoting andreamarie: No I haven't and I won't, I decided that years ago when our laws began allowing parents who had placed children for adoption to change their minds and rip them away from loving familys.
how about all those loving families with buyers remorse? Torry Hansen put her kid on a flight alone straight back to Russia. Arkansas Rep. Justin Harris rehomes his adoptlings in a completely lawless manor. And Reuters uncovering the online marketplace to dump adoptees using Yahoo and FB. Joyce Maynard ditching her Ethiopian children?
Sorry for your loss. So you know, a disproportionate number of adopted children are actually killed by their adoptive parents so this knife cuts both ways.
I hear you with the secrets and lies. Since searching/ reuniting with my Mother and finding my Father with DNA testing I've learned of 2 major things that ABSOLUTELY SHOULD have been shared with the adopters - and eventually ME concerning health history. One was known but not shared by the agency- my oldest brother had mental disability, and that I have learned I have spina biffida occulta. My husband also has a sibling with mental disability. It really would have been nice to know what my odds were having healthy children during my child bearing years. 😡 Thankfully, by the grace of g0d, we did.

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