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Stepkids are backing out of all their visits

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
They live with their Mom in another state. They used to come here every other Christmas, every other Spring break and all summer. They backed out of coming this summer and skipped our wedding altogether because my stepson wanted to play football and practices started just a couple of weeks after school let out and my stepdaughter wanted to stay home and work all summer instead. They are already backing out of coming this Christmas because their aunt is coming back from overseas and they haven't seen her in several years. My husband suggested they trade Christmas for Spring Break but they are going on vacation in Florida with their cousins and half siblings. They haven't been enthusiastic about visiting since I moved in with their father 2 years ago.

My husband is hurting but he doesn't feel like he can fight them on it because he doesn't want them to miss out on stuff normal teenager do because he moved far away. I'm.tryinnto br comforting but I know he's having a hard time.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 12, 2017 at 6:21 PM
Replies (381-383):
by Member on Sep. 17, 2017 at 11:15 PM

Continue to call and invite.  Can y'all make a trip to see them?  God Bless and I will be praying for your family.

by Emerald Member on Sep. 18, 2017 at 12:29 AM

Quoting Anonymous 1: There just isn't the too toon all of the kids to have their own rooms. We have 6 between us after all. My kids share as well.
Quoting Anonymous 74: So they don't have there own room and a bed? Your dh is a shitty dad who should go see his kids
Quoting Anonymous 1: They sleep in the bonus room. We have two pull out couches in there and that way they can stay up late watching TV if they want to.
Quoting Anonymous 74: I'm curious to where the kids sleep when they visit
Quoting Anonymous 67:

They know they really aren't welcome. You've made it pretty clear on here, I imagine your attitude and selfishness comes out pretty clearly to them too. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: They have the option of spending Christmas with him here. No one said they couldn't come. They are more than welcome. Staying there is their own choice.
Quoting hotspice58:

But it's fair to his older kids that they don't get to see him... don't think it can't happen to you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: We will all be going to see them next summer if they opt not to visit again. We aren't all going to visit over Christmas because spending Christmas in a hotel isn't fair to the rest if the kids.
Quoting hotspice58:

This.  You are truly giving stepmoms a bad name.  OK: why don't all of you go?  You know that your kids with him are related to his kids from his first marriage, right?  Let the siblings have some type of relationship.

Quoting seximami111:

All I keep hearing is that you wont let him go because it'll be "weird" for him to spend Christmas at his ex's house, I'm sure he would/could be at a hotel. You were aware that he had kids before you got with him correct? You give all stepmoms a bad image, smh.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Because he isn't ditching the rest of his family on Christmas to spend it at his exwifes house.
Quoting Not_A_Native:

Well, then, there you go.

But why is it not feasible?

Quoting Anonymous 1: His only time off for a while is over Christmas and visiting them over Christmas isn't feasible.
Quoting Not_A_Native:

This is called teenagers growing up.  They barely have time for the family they live with, let alone one far away that they DON'T live with.

Why don't you guys go visit THEM?

They literally don't have BEDS. No one said they needed their own rooms but they should have beds. Actual beds. And their own, even shared, space. Not the bonus room where anyone and everyone can come in. It's no wonder they don't visit. Dad is too bust climbing up your ass to even bother with his older children. 

by Anonymous 76 on Sep. 18, 2017 at 1:02 AM
Choices, he chose not to be an active Dad and this is the result.
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