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Is the way I discipline abusive in any way? Edit!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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1 mom liked this

My children are 14, 13, 9, 7, 4, 2 and 2 months.

For my teens I use 3 strikes and your out...nowhere: I had to use this today for my 13 year old. She mouthed off to me, so I gave her a warning, after that I found out she got an F on her math test, so I took her phone and the 3rd strike was her hitting my 4 year old. She loses her phone for a week, and can not go out before/after school or on the weekends for a week with her friends. And for a teen aged girl, it is the end of the world!

For my kids 2-9 I use this: My 4 year old daughter hit my 2 year old, so I gave her a warning, she hit her again so I gave her a timeout, she hit her a 3rd time, so I took all electronics for 4 days, and when she hit again, I spanked her. just once, right on her leggings.

When the kids are 1 and under we just do timeouts. One and under means 11 months and up.

The reason I ask this question though, is that I had to do this with my 4 year old daughter today. All of the other moms in the homeschool group met up. When it came time to spank her, a woman I had only known for a month asked me if I abused my kids. My answer was "Yep! That is why I brought them to see their friends today, and brought pizza and cookies for all of the kids. I hate 'em!" After a 2 minute pause I gave her a serious answer. "No, I love them with all my might. I am not going to let my 13 year old (who was mad at me) and my 4 year olds control me!"

Do you think this is abusive? And do you think I was wrong for giving a sarcastic answer at first?


Edit: We are keeping the rules the same for the teens. We are seperating the ages groups 1-2, 3-5, 6-8 and 9-12. Obviously 13-17. For 1-2 we are going to start redirecting with toys. 3-5 get warning, timeout and final resort toy taken. 6-8 get warning, timeout and then tablet/phone/computer taken or toy taken. 9-12 get a warning, timeout, an electronic taken then a toy taken. Everything is taken for a week. And y'all know the teens punishment. Although, they might get to keep the phones and such. The way we were raising them is the way he was raised. He got mad and left. But thank you fpr the opinons! 

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:34 PM

Oh, and I did not mean they can not go anywehere! But they have to be with me, and can not leave my sight. it is a grat way to get them to change diapers! And she got the F at her weekly homeschool enrichment class called Classical Conversations.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:38 PM
4 moms liked this
I do not believe a spanking is abuse. Moms here will say it is but I don't believe it is. Nothing else could even be considered abuse.
ShannonAKAmom
by Gold Member on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:39 PM
No. Even if someone thinks spanking isn't an effective way to parent...still no where NEAR abuse.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:39 PM
9 moms liked this
I personally think spanking is abuse. It also bothers me that you are putting 1 and under in timeouts. It tells me you don't know anything about cognitive development. That means you've got unrealistic behavioral expectations.

Your children are not trying to control you. It's a red flag that you see it that way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:41 PM
2 moms liked this
All of this. Parenting classes, stat.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I personally think spanking is abuse. It also bothers me that you are putting 1 and under in timeouts. It tells me you don't know anything about cognitive development. That means you've got unrealistic behavioral expectations.

Your children are not trying to control you. It's a red flag that you see it that way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:41 PM
I was abused as a child, this is not abusive.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:42 PM


Quoting Anonymous 3: I personally think spanking is abuse. It also bothers me that you are putting 1 and under in timeouts. It tells me you don't know anything about cognitive development. That means you've got unrealistic behavioral expectations. Your children are not trying to control you. It's a red flag that you see it that way.

11 months is the youngest I will do timeout for. And it is only for hitting, biting, kicking, etc. I stand them in their crib, or in the corner for 1 minute. And by control I mean, I am not going to break our discipine rules, or give phones back, just because they are whining or we are in public. Now tell me what you see wrong with my disciplne.

mrsmom110
by NO on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:42 PM

Agreed

Quoting Anonymous 2: I do not believe a spanking is abuse. Moms here will say it is but I don't believe it is. Nothing else could even be considered abuse.


Rlmori2010
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:45 PM
Nope one pop on the butt is not abuse.
caustinb
by Ruby Member on Sep. 13, 2017 at 8:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think spanking is abusive, but in public it is SUPER awkward and embarrassing. I would have just made her go home.
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