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She expects me to change our custody schedule around so that they can have alone time and have all the kids at the same time

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 250 Replies
My ex gets every other weekend with our two kids. We also have a holiday schedule that works for us. He gets every Christmas Eve because his family really only celebrates Christmas Eve. He gets labor day and Fourth of July and I get Easter and Thanksgiving ( he is not religious so he doesn't actually want Easter so it's more trading those two minor holidays for Thanksgiving). I guess it goes without saying that I get Mother's Day he gets Father's Day no matter whose weekend it's supposed to be.

my ex is engaged to marry a woman who has three children. The problem is her kids are on the office at schedule as my kids are. So any weekend that she doesn't have her kids my ex has our kids. And the holidays are pretty much backwards as well, they alternate every holiday every year so there will be some holidays where they don't have any kids and some holidays where they have all of them but not many. Her and her ex had to go to court for something or another and so she requested that the judge order that the visitation change to match the visitation me and my ex have in order for all the kids to be there at the same time and for them to have every other weekend without the kids. The judge refused order that based on the fact that her ex didn't want that. My ex called me and told me that he understands that they're not going to be able to take me to court to get the judge to order it because we have the same judge and if the judge said no to her the judge is also going to say no to him. So he asked if I would be willing to just go ahead and switch the schedule around. Even if we left holiday schedule alone and just switch to the weekends. I said no because I like the weekend schedule as is. My sister is also divorced and we are on the same schedule. We also have younger kids because we are both remarried. So we have one weekend where we can get together and do stuff with the little kids and then the next weekend we can get together and do stuff that's more geared to the older kids or geared to include everybody. If I switched weekends my kids would hardly ever see their cousins. My husband also has to work one weekend every month that's a requirement from his job. He has it set up to where he will be working one of the weekends that the kids are gone. This way we have two weekends a month with the whole family here. His schedule is set out a year for his weekends. He cannot change it. My ex was not happy with my response but he realized there was nothing he could do about it.

A little while later his fiance called me and her she was really nice about it and she explained that as newlyweds they would really like to be able to have some time where they don't have any kids in the house and they also want have time where they have all the kids so the kids can find. I told her that I understand that but the fact is she has three children and she married a man who has two children. That means between the two of them they have five children. My parents had five children I don't remember my parents ever having a weekend to themselves ever. That's just how it works when you have that many children. I also told her that while I don't oppose my children getting to know her children I don't consider it a priority for my kids to bond with her kids. The fact is if her and my ex divorce these kids will never see each other again. So then she started yelling at me that I am trying to sabotage her relationship and that I am doing this just because I don't want them to have alone time together. Which is exactly not what's going on. I explained to her and my ex My reasonings that are perfectly valid.

she can complain all she wants to but this is how it's going to be. I will not go out of my way to cause her grief but I'm also not going to go out of my way to help her
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:30 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:34 AM
2 moms liked this
I think your points are somewhat valid, as are hers..........but I feel like why doesn't she try to switch her own real kids schedule around me to match the schedule of the house she moved into? Like......that would get the same results she's looking for, no?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:35 AM
8 moms liked this
Reading is hard.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I think your points are somewhat valid, as are hers..........but I feel like why doesn't she try to switch her own real kids schedule around me to match the schedule of the house she moved into? Like......that would get the same results she's looking for, no?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:36 AM
4 moms liked this
I agre with you. My DH and I have three and I'm lucky if I can pee alone. Maybe they need to hire a babysitter if they need alone time so badly.

How did they date if their kids are on alternate schedules?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:36 AM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't talk to her at all anymore. Tell your ex he should be taking to you about your kids, not his girlfriend.
Johnsmom5892
by on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:36 AM
What did you get out of that story?

Quoting Anonymous 3: Reading is hard.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I think your points are somewhat valid, as are hers..........but I feel like why doesn't she try to switch her own real kids schedule around me to match the schedule of the house she moved into? Like......that would get the same results she's looking for, no?
WickedPissah
by awestomy on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:37 AM
I wouldn't switch either.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:37 AM
3 moms liked this
They can hire a babysitter when her kids are there. But my kids every other weekend with him and that is it so while my kids are there I expect him to be spending time with them. This is exactly why I got right of first refusal. If he only has them 4 days a month I see no reason why he can't devote those 4 days a month to them

Quoting Anonymous 4: I agre with you. My DH and I have three and I'm lucky if I can pee alone. Maybe they need to hire a babysitter if they need alone time so badly.

How did they date if their kids are on alternate schedules?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:37 AM
They can hire a babysitter when her kids are there. But my kids every other weekend with him and that is it so while my kids are there I expect him to be spending time with them. This is exactly why I got right of first refusal. If he only has them 4 days a month I see no reason why he can't devote those 4 days a month to them

Quoting Anonymous 4: I agre with you. My DH and I have three and I'm lucky if I can pee alone. Maybe they need to hire a babysitter if they need alone time so badly.

How did they date if their kids are on alternate schedules?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:38 AM
She said the girlfriend tried to get her kids visitation changed in court. The judge denied it.

Quoting Johnsmom5892: What did you get out of that story?

Quoting Anonymous 3: Reading is hard.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I think your points are somewhat valid, as are hers..........but I feel like why doesn't she try to switch her own real kids schedule around me to match the schedule of the house she moved into? Like......that would get the same results she's looking for, no?
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