Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Update They said we were rude because we asked to be alone

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 181 Replies
2 moms liked this
My husband and I have 4 children in a four-bedroom home. We are currently renting a room to my brother until he leaves for the military. So we had the baby in our room, our oldest in her own room and the middle two in another room. We just went through hurricane Irma and while our house is perfectly fine my in-laws house is flooded. It's going to take months before they will be able to live in the house. My in-laws do have insurance thankfully and the insurance will give them some money if they choose to stay in a hotel room but the money that the insurance will give them is less than half of what it actually costs to stay in a hotel room. And they are going through so much other Financial stuff with losing so much of their stuff and having to pay the deductible to the insurance company to get their house fixed plus continuing to pay their mortgage they don't have the extra money to stay in a hotel. They asked to stay with us and while we knew it would be tight what do you say exactly? No? My husband is their only child who lives in the state so unless they want to quit their jobs he was the only child they could stay with.

We gave my in-laws one of the kids bedrooms. We put my oldest child in with the younger two. The bedroom is wall-to-wall dressers and beds. We actually had to take their night stands out of the bedroom and put those in the garage to store them. It will do for now but it's definitely tight. Obviously we are keeping the baby in our room. We were actually about to move the baby in one of the other rooms to have two kids Per room but obviously that can't happen now.

Last night my husband and I wanted to watch a movie together. The baby has been sick so she's been real fussy and I finally got her to sleep but I really don't want us watching a movie in the bedroom just in case she woke up. Usually she will sleep through that kind of stuff but again she's sick and miserable so we didn't want to risk it. We decided to go out into the living room and watch a movie. My in-laws came out of the room and asked what movie we were watching. Dh told them but asled if we could please just be alone for a little bit. My father-in-law got Huffy about it and my husband reminded them that they have a bedroom to themselves. We can't just go in our bedroom and be alone because we're afraid we're going to wake the baby up. My father-in-law tried to argue with my husband saying that just because they have a room doesn't mean that they should be confined to that room all the time. My husband said no not all the time but I think that it's reasonable for the owners of the home to have two hours alone in the living room. My father-in-law told my husband that they are living here and they have every right to use the living room anytime they want. My husband said that that's where they're wrong, they do not have the right to use any part of our house if we say they don't. My husband said he doesn't want to throw them out because he knows they have nowhere to go but they need to check their attitude. Mil and fil got really angry at the mention of throwing them out

They've been really short with us all day. I understand that they're pissed off but I really feel like they need to get over themselves. I think that if they're going to continue to act this way we may tell them that they can sleep in the living room and we will put the youngest two in the bedroom that they are currently using. This way we will have our own bedroom to go to with nobody in it. I mean they're not going to get any privacy because it's the living room and they'll have to be up early because we get up early in our house but at least they won't be confined to one room.

Update

My husband and I sat down with my in-laws to clear the air. My husband told his parents that it was not Our intention to hurt their feelings or make them feel unwelcome. He explained that we just wanted a little bit of time just the two of them. He reminded them that we have our family of 6 sharing two bedrooms in order for them to have a private bedroom. That we had no intention of keeping our baby in our bedroom this long and the only reason we are doing so is again in order to give them some privacy. But it in order to give them privacy we've had to give up privacy of our own. Which is why we wanted to watch a movie Just the Two of Us yes. We explain to them that unlike us they can go to their room and be alone. They can also go out somewhere and be alone. Currently we cannot do that. I do not trust my in-laws to babysit my mother-in-law has made several questionable decisions while babysitting and because of that we won't let her babysit.

My husband explain to them that if they cannot be understanding of the fact that we want a couple of hours alone just the two of us in our living room which by the way is in the house that we pay for then we're going to have to rethink the living arrangements. Perhaps we need to put two kids in each bedroom so that we have our bedroom to ourselves meaning that they will have to sleep in the living room. My husband also pointed out that if the shoe was on the other foot if we were staying with them due to a situation like this and they had put themselves in a position where they don't even have a bedroom to themselves anymore there is no way that we would be so rude as to get mad over them wanting their own living room to themselves for a few hours.

My father-in-law started to argue and my mother-in-law tapped him on the shoulder and said you know they're right. They are a couple Raising 4 children with three extra people in their house and it's not unreasonable that they wanted a little bit of time to themselves. We all agreed that from now on, one or two nights a week we will have some time in the living room to ourselves and we will let them know ahead of time so if they want to they can plan on going out.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:33 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:36 PM
3 moms liked this
I'd do that anyway. Fil was being a dick. They can sleep in the living room.
Talkingheads
by Ruby Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:38 PM
Move them to the living room
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:38 PM
I'm really thinking that that might be the best idea for us. I brought it up with my husband and he said that it might be what we need to do. Obviously they will be pissed as hell about it but if they're not going to be considerate at all then we need to do what we can to make us as comfortable as possible.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I'd do that anyway. Fil was being a dick. They can sleep in the living room.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:39 PM
I think that might be for the best. They will be pissed but it seems like they're going to be pissed no matter what unless we give them the run of the house

Quoting Talkingheads: Move them to the living room
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:40 PM
8 moms liked this
I can totally see your side but I'd never treat my guests like that. I mean, it was definitely rude.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:41 PM

They aren't paying rent, they don't get to say shit. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:42 PM
11 moms liked this

You were rude. I am never impress d by these posts where people agree to "help" their families, only to lord it over them and treat them like crap, then come here for back pats. I'm sure they would much prefer to be at home, and you guys were jerks.

ShaMac
by Ruby Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:42 PM
5 moms liked this
I'd never treat guests that way. If I need alone time i have a bedroom. Yes, you were very rude.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:43 PM
I don't know that I would really call them guests. Guess they're people who come and visit you and stay in your house for a predetermined amount of time at your agreement. These are people who are staying with us because they have nowhere else to go. We really were not even put in a position where we could tell them no and good conscience and it's not like they're only going to be here a week or something. They will be here likely for months. It's not just a matter of their house drying out and all the damage being fixed but it's also a matter of getting people out there to fix it. Because there are so many houses that need repair it's going to take forever. If they were visiting out of town and we had agreed to host them for a week we obviously would not have asked them to leave us alone. But like I said this is a bit different

Quoting Anonymous 3: I can totally see your side but I'd never treat my guests like that. I mean, it was definitely rude.
mojogirl
by Ouiser Boudreaux on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:43 PM

that sounds like a terrible idea

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)