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Is this domestic violence?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 147 Replies

So my dh and I have 3 children... I am a SAHM (for the first time- he stayed home when the older kids were smaller).  We have been together 15 years today. :(  Day before yesterday he came home from work (he works thirds) and woke me up. I told him I was getting up to fix breakfast in 15 minutes (530 am).  My alarm never went off, or I had it set wrong or whatever- he comes back at 545 to wake me up.  Doesn't seem angry or anything. He asked me to fix something I have never had or eaten, or ever even seen for that matter.  Canned salmon and grits.  I made it wrong.  I dont know if thats what made him angry or what.. but he got physical with me. Pushing me around and stuff. He never punched or hit me but he was rough enough that I have bruises on my face, neck, chest and arms. 

He said lots of things including that i don't do anything all day (which I do.  our house isn't imaculant but it's not dirty either.  Its's lived in. Floors are always clean. Kitchen and bathrooms clean.  I stuggle with getting laundry put away but so what. Toys aren't everywhere. I clean up after baby messes 8000Xs a day) He also said that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.  So my question is this.. is this really an assault of some sort? how could I go about getting out of this relationship?  I have no friends or family close enough to help me.  I literally have to stay here or be homeless.  The only people I know are his friends and family. I do have a job- I work two 12 hour shifts a week.  I can't afford child care.  We don't get any assistance.  Housing is ridiculously priced here and I for sure can't afford to live on my income. Plus, while he pays most of the bills, EVERYTHING is in my name. I have no idea how to go about getting out of this situation... 

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:08 AM
5 moms liked this
Yes it is domestic violence and you should call the police. They will take photos of your bruises and issue a temporary no-contact order until you file for a restraining order. He will be arrested and charged with domestic assault.
mcginnisc
by *Claire-Bear* on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:11 AM
4 moms liked this

If he left bruises, shoved you, etc it is domestic violence. You call the cops and report it and have it documented. He needs to be charged and arrested. 

You need to get in touch with the family you have- no matter how far away, tell them the situation and ask for their help in leaving while he is jailed. If you need to stay with them while you get on your feet, so be it. It is better to swallow your pride than to allow your children to live with an abuser and to see it occur. They deserve better and so do you. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

blue-heart
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:11 AM
Call the police and press charges. Tell them you need help getting out. They will help you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:11 AM

:'( I grew up witnessing much worse dv so I wasn't really sure.  I kind of thought he had to actually hit me for it to be dv. I always swore I wouldn't put my kids through this. :( idk how to get out, without being homeless. 

Quoting owl0210: Yes it is domestic violence and you should call the police. They will take photos of your bruises and issue a temporary no-contact order until you file for a restraining order. He will be arrested and charged with domestic assault.


HaloSue
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:12 AM
1 mom liked this
Call the women's abuse shelter and ask them for assistance with getting home to your family. Most will get you tickets and you can get back to your family.
Yes,it is abuse absolutely.
The numbers are online or in the front of any phone books. It's a 800 #
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:13 AM

how can they help? 

Quoting blue-heart: Call the police and press charges. Tell them you need help getting out. They will help you.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:14 AM
1 mom liked this
That is domestic violence. You have 2 choices 1 call the cops have him arrested and get the hell out of there or 2 try to work it out and talk with him about what happened but know if you choose 2 there is a big chance he will do it again.
Punky_1981
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:15 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, that is domestic violence. He pushed you, and left marks on you. And over something so trivial. You need to call the cops. Go to a local shelter and try to get help for you and your kids. 

owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:17 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry you're going through this. Call the domestic abuse hotline 1-800-799-7233. They will help you with resources. Please call the police before he kills you.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

:'( I grew up witnessing much worse dv so I wasn't really sure.  I kind of thought he had to actually hit me for it to be dv. I always swore I wouldn't put my kids through this. :( idk how to get out, without being homeless. 

Quoting owl0210: Yes it is domestic violence and you should call the police. They will take photos of your bruises and issue a temporary no-contact order until you file for a restraining order. He will be arrested and charged with domestic assault.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 22, 2017 at 8:18 AM

I know.  Sadly this isn't the first time.  I grew up witnessing dv on a much more severe case.  This hasn't happened in probably two years or more but this was the worst by far. I always swore that I would never put my kids through this. But now I understand why women make the choices that they do.  I don't want to uproot my children again, we've moved A LOT since our oldest was born.  They have good family here. I'm the only one that doesn't.  I'm not leaving my children like my mom left me. I havet to find another way.  

Quoting Anonymous 2: That is domestic violence. You have 2 choices 1 call the cops have him arrested and get the hell out of there or 2 try to work it out and talk with him about what happened but know if you choose 2 there is a big chance he will do it again.


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