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Teenagers and cell phones?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

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I'm a mom to 5 kids. 3 are biologically mine, 1 is step and the other is my niece. My stepdaughter has lived with us full time for 4 years with no contact with biomom. My 16 almost 17 year old niece has lived with us full time now for two years. She has had no contact with her mom per her wishes do to alot of neglect and abuse issues in the past.

Here's my problem. My 16 year old niece has a great personality. She's funny, sarcastic (in a good way), free spirited, creative and smart. She is a good mix of emo and goth.

The problem is I feel like she is wasting her life away. She lives by her phone 24/7 Facebook, text messaging, instagraming, and snapchatting. From the time she gets home from school until the time she goes to bed at damn near 1am she is in her room with all the lights off except what light comes in her window and the decorative lights that hang above her bed. on her phone of course. She only comes out to use the bathroom and to eat. She hates going outside. If she does she cannot be in direct sunlight because she says she likes her pale skin too much to get tan whatsoever. She's not active at all. Plays no sports, No instruments, doesn't work out, is involved in no after school clubs, no part time job ect. She never asks to go to friends houses or invites her friends over. Claims they hang out at school all day and then she is on the phone with them all night through different social media sites.

Outside of her phone the only thing I see her do is do her hair and make up and try on different outfits to take selfies to post on her social media sites or draw in her portfolio. My niece wants to be a tattoo artist when she graduates highschool. She is a very talented artist and I've seen some of her work and think she'd fair well. I told her tattooing isn't going to be enough to provide for herself and she said that she also wants to be a cosmologist (do hair, nails and make up). Glad she has a direction for herself.

Right now though I feel bad. I always invite her to do stuff with us and 90% of the time she says no to sit at home and be on her phone laying in bed. I've asked her what she does all day while we are gone and she says listen to music with head phones, snap chat, Facebook and text messaging friends, take a shower, do a make up tutorial and post it on Facebook ect. We've invited her to have movie night or game night with us and sometimes she will join us but spends 90% of the time on her phone and ends up ditching us halfway through. If she does go out with us somewhere she is constantly on her phone and not present with what we are doing. Will just find a spot, sit and be on her phone or have headphones in listening to music.

Is it typical teen behavior or should I be concerned?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 22, 2017 at 9:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
beco8627
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
What's up with this picture?? Who is that?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:02 AM

I don't think it should ever be considered typical teen behavior.  She should have interests that require her to get out of her room.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:04 AM
The post is about my niece. I wanted to post a picture of her to give a face to go with the description and personality.

Quoting beco8627: What's up with this picture?? Who is that?
PJMM
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:04 AM
Ds17 and 14 are like that however when they're with us they're off the phone and tablet. Sometimes i have to force the issue.
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:05 AM

You are the adult in the house, take the phone away if it concerns you so much. I didn't allow my kids to have cell phones at 16 but that's just my rule. IS that her picture you posted?

susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Why do you allow it? If she is living with you, you need to be a parent, not a roommate. Make boundaries for her and insist that she stick to them.

SergeantSausage
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Good Lord, take the fucking phone away and parent that child.
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:06 AM

I wouldn't be OK with it. But I'm old school. My kids got a cellphone when they started driving. It was used  for emergency purposes. Once the 2nd one drove whoever had the car had the phone. They purchased their own phones at 17.5 Cell phones got pluged in down in the kitchen by 9:30 on school nights. Cell phones are not used at the table. If you are on your phone and I ask you a question I expect you to look at me and answer. Cell phones aren't used in the car, . By 16 my kids needed to have a job. They needed to pay 1/2 the car insurance and have gas money if they wanted to drive. We have always had family time, as they got older it was harder to make it happened between everyone's commitments. But it did. Not as often as I had hoped but when we all were free or I planned something( with their input)  when I knew we all were free we all did it. My kids never spent all their time in their bedroom. Probably because they didn't have lots of things in their. No tv, no video games etc. 

PJMM
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:07 AM
I personally wouldn't post that here. People will do reverse image because they've no life. For all you know I'm 500 lbs and living in someone's basement, bored out of my mind. I'm not but you don't know that.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The post is about my niece. I wanted to post a picture of her to give a face to go with the description and personality.

Quoting beco8627: What's up with this picture?? Who is that?
LuvHugs429
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2017 at 10:08 AM
1 mom liked this

Exactly!! You want her to get out and do more then take her phone away. When she is in your house your rules so she can only be allowed on for a certain time in your house. My son turned 15 last Saturday and we just gave him permission for Instagram, he is not allowed on any other Social Media site and His Father and I are both on his Instagram page. He is not allowed to add anyone unless we ok it first.

Quoting Sassy762:

You are the adult in the house, take the phone away if it concerns you so much. I didn't allow my kids to have cell phones at 16 but that's just my rule. IS that her picture you posted?



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